my favorite girl

xvii

N

/

I don't even like Jackson.

But he helped me once when he bumped into me and the huge books I was carrying fell on the ground.

He asked me if I wanted to go out with him to the local diner.

I told him, "Okay," even though I didn't really want to, because I was supposed to come over to Momo's that afternoon.

(I cancelled on Momo and I's Friday movie night to go out with Jackson.)

(It felt awful.)

But I didn't want Jackson to hate me. I don't like it when people hate me.

So I said yes the second time he asked me out again.

I said yes on the third time.

Yes on the fourth.

And the next thing I know, everybody at school thinks that we're dating.

"Momo!" I called when I finally spotted her walking towards the cafeteria.

She turned around and was surprised to see me. "Nayeon, what are you doing here?"

When I reached her spot, that's only when I realized that she wasn't alone.

Mina was holding her hand, as if tugging her.

And now, Mina was looking at me, too, expectant of an answer. Almost impatient.

(She didn't let go of Momo's hand.)

"I was... about to ask if you wanna have lunch together? It's been a while since we last hung out." Alone.

I glanced at Mina, who was also staring at me.

She looked unamused.

"Oh, sorry, Nayeonie. Mina and I were just about to go." Momo scratched her head using her free hand. "You can come with us if you want?"

I think I saw Mina roll her eyes.

But I didn't say anything. I don't like fighting with people.

Instead, I said, "Oh, that's okay," and shook my head.

Momo's head turned to the side. "But–"

"Shouldn't you be with Jackson, anyway?" Mina butts in, cutting Momo off.

I got a little pissed.

But I didn't show.

I don't want her to hate me. Or Momo to hate me.

She's Momo's friend, after all.

"Yes," I find myself breathing out. "I'll go find him."

I turned around so quickly and fast-walked towards a random direction, not waiting for their response.

I hate that my heart sank to my stomach when Momo didn't even try calling for me again.

"Shouldn't you be with Jackson, anyway?" I remember Mina's words and gulped, my fists clenching tightly.

I don't even like Jackson.

I like Momo.

I always have.