my favorite girl

xxix

N

/

Momo never glanced at me again.

As if it's against her moral code;

A crime she'd commit if she tried to even just look at my direction.

I tried to tell myself it's okay, if she really didn't want to talk to me, anymore.

After all, I hurt her.

And she hurt me.

It's like it just can't be fixed, anymore.

But then, I tell myself it's okay. At least, I wouldn't have to bear seeing her with Mina all the time, anymore.

I tell myself I'm happy with how things between Momo and I are right now.

(I'm not.)

Chaeyoung is still in the process of moving on from Mina, just like I am with Momo. That's why we stuck together.

Broken girl;

Meets broken girl.

They say it isn't ideal. But in our case, Chaeyoung and I heal faster by leaning against each other.

Most people assume we're dating, just like in freshman year with Jackson, as Chaeyoung and I were always seen together on and off the campus grounds, which doesn't happen often before.

Some girls even hate me for it— either because they want Chaeyoung for themselves;

Or because they've always hated me before, anyway, for being close with Momo.

And seeing me walking around with Son Chaeyoung now just fueled their grudges even more.

(Apparently Momo's admirers doubled in number when she joined the junior dance club.)

(It was either they hate Mina, or me, or both of us.)

"Hey, this is you."

I was forced out of my thoughts when Chaeyoung spoke next to me. I looked up to realize we were now standing on our driveway.

"Oh, right." I gulped before sending her a small smile. "Thanks for walking me, Chae."

I watch her snort playfully.

"It's not like I have a choice. My house's still a couple blocks away."

I laughed alongside of her.

When we stopped, she smiled at me, cautiously asking, "Are you coming to the recital tomorrow night?"

I didn't know how to respond.

So, instead, I turned the question around, "Are you?"

Chaeyoung chuckled.

"No. I wasn't invited, anyway. Plus, I hate sitting on a theater chair for hours." She smiled at me, so I mirrored her expression. "Cards on the table, I do want to see Mina dance. But it's just... hard."

Chaeyoung and Mina were once in a secret relationship.

They never told anyone, because Mina didn't want her to. And Chaeyoung is so in love, she just let Mina use her as a distraction when in truth, she'd always wanted Momo.

"Yeah," I found myself mumbling in return, looking down the same time as Chaeyoung did.

A few moments later, she cleared her throat.

"Well, when you make up your mind," I lifted my gaze up to meet hers. "Shoot me a text. We can go to the diner, grab a couple of milkshakes, have our own fun."

I knew Chaeyoung meant well. It wasn't asking out as a date. Just as friends, for compensation, for getting both of our hearts broken at the same time;

For having such tragic fate in love.

I've always admired how strong Chaeyoung is. I wished I could say the same thing for myself, but I couldn't.

Because despite everything— the pain, the waste of tears and time and love,

My stupid mouth still wants to say, "I can't. I want to be there for Momo when she performs."

I almost laughed at myself, because after everything that's happened between us, my stupid brain still thinks of Momo.

My stupid heart still beats for Momo.

And it doesn't stop.