A Court of Shadows and Thunder // AzrielxOC SlowBurn Romance, ACOTAR FanFiction

Chapter 59 - Holding Back

Azriel thought he was dreaming. He had conjured this moment in his fantasies for weeks that he didn't think it could be true. He had repressed the urge for so long that he it almost didn't feel real. But Brianna's lips were on his, and when he felt her hand curved around the back of his head, he knew he was very much awake.

It wasn't like any kiss Azriel had had before. Before, there were fast kisses, caught in moments of lusts and pure desire. There were females that he'd bed because he felt like it, because they had wanted to. When he was younger, when it had been the only thing on his mind, when it was all him and his brothers had sought out to do.

There were drunk kisses, chaste ones, kisses that meant nothing at all. But nothing quite like this.

The first thing he had noticed was that her lips were cold, but that he was immediately filled with warmth. That his ears rang out and he couldn't hear anything at all, his heart raced and he lost track of everything else around them. Azriel couldn't think of anything but of the taste of her lips, couldn't feel anything but the warmth of her touch.

And it was slow at first, almost hesitant when their lips had first touched. But when he dipped down to her, Brianna had leaned into him, and one of his hands moved on its own to trace down her back. He held it there and pulled her closer, and that was when her own hand had snaked round his shoulders.

Soft, tender, yet somehow akin to fireworks. Like explosions sounded off in his mind, in his chest, twirling and twisting and leaping off inside. Like stoking a flame until it burst in heat, until the fire grew and it's flames danced and lit up even the darkest of nights.

If the mating bond hadn't made itself known yet, it was abundantly clear to them both that it was there. Because nothing had ever felt so right, nothing had ever felt so perfect.

The kiss felt as though it lasted an eternity, but when they pulled away, Azriel thought it was over far too soon. When Brianna stepped out of his grasp, he thought to reach out to her again, to pull her back to him, to hold her in his arms once more. And then he caught the look in her eyes, and Azriel came crashing down to reality.

Her hands ran through her loose hair as she let out a breath, her eyes wide and wary as they darted away from him. She turned round and away, and when she looked back, Azriel saw in her eyes what he had hoped wouldn't be there.

"We shouldn't have-" she started to say, voice thick and coming out in a whisper, but she cut herself short, unsure of what to say.

Azriel looked at her, knowing very well what was running through her mind now.

They had kissed, and for once, it had felt like all was right in Azriel's world. But the one thing that kept him from thinking that way was that she wasn't his to kiss. At least, not yet, or not in her mind.

"Dorian," Azriel said, and the word came out almost sounding like a curse. Like he truly meant that the Syren prince was an obstacle, like he was what prevented Brianna from allowing herself this one thing. And some part of him had to admit that he was angry about it.

Still, he forced himself not to think in that way, and Brianna nodded at him slowly, letting out another sigh.

"We should have waited until I," Brianna said, stammering on her words now as she tried to collect her thoughts, "I should have-"

"You regret it," Azriel said, and Brianna snapped her head to him immediately.

The words had left his lips so fast he hadn't even thought about what he was saying, or what he was even implying. And for a split second, Brianna almost looked insulted, but soon her eyes softened when she caught the look on Azriel's face.