The Two Alphas of Rosewood Creek [MxM]

Chapter 55 - River

River's POV

The darkness was always a silent home for me. Having spent the majority of my life trapped inside the realms of my human's mind, it was hard not to grow used to the coldness of isolation.

Sleep was always a fight through twisted nightmares, the weightless feeling of constant suffocation along with endless waves of pressure pushing me away from Remy. It felt like hell, never really knowing from one day to the next if I would break free from my chains or succumb to the dark void.

Not to say our life before we left the pack wasn't hell either. It was a different type of hell there, and constantly making sure Remy was safe had become a 24-hour job. The stress of trying to survive was a burden I placed on myself, but a necessary burden nonetheless. Remy was too young to know what went on in the werewolves undercurrents of the world, and that sleeping wolves lay everywhere just waiting to pounce.

I was blessed by the Moon Goddess with the wisdom to know of the evils that surrounded us. With my quick wits and formidable attitude, I plucked Remy from the trenches, relentlessly wary so that he might live in a world where he didn't feel constantly threatened. Going to live with the humans seemed like the best idea at the time, I just didn't think it would come back to bite me in the ass.

The first sign those simple-minded human doctors caught that he was different, they immediately placed him on a poisonous cocktail of pills, and very quickly found there was an unbreakable wall between Remy's spirit and my own. And as sad and scary as it was to lose my connection to him, I ultimately knew that we were safer in hiding with the humans than running around the world a rogue young wolf. It was always better to hide than to run, in my opinion.

I never want to go back to that, if I can help it.

Everything was too much for my mind to process at this point. It was the fear that kept me up through the night, the fear of being truthfully honest with Remy. Every day he grew closer to the small town mountain dogs of Rosewood, the more he discovered things about himself— things I wasn't ready to talk about yet.

How do I even begin to explain our past when we're already balls deep in the future? Balls deep between not one, but two new packs, and ultimately a new life??

There was nothing I could really come up with, so I did what I always did best: run. Run from the emotions, run from the conversation. Just avoid and deny at all costs.

It worked in the beginning, but then dodging an innocent five-year-old was much easier than skirting around the questions of a nosy teenager. I found myself hitting a dead end, the wall too high to climb this time. It was inevitable: Remy was going to find out everything about us sooner or later. 

It was in the quiet hours of the night that my anxiety ran its highest. Wide awake, I stared up at the gray ceiling, listening to the sounds of the two Alphas snoring peacefully beside me. It still amazes me just how these two could sleep so comfortably in the same bed, without regard for the other. Especially being rising Alphas, you would think there was always some underling nearby ready to challenge them for their title.

These wolves have never known what it's like to fear the shadows, if anything, their so-called 'pack life' was a joke.

Of course, it wasn't their fault that they lived in a thriving community. Besides the two packs being at supposed 'war' with each other, they still somehow managed to build a place where the two could coexist. Regardless of what little fights that arose now and then, the packs had allowed each other to pretty much continue to prosper unimpeded. It almost made me jealous, that the wolves of Rosewood could tenuously live in harmony when the world outside was so much more unpredictable and chaotic.