The Two Alphas of Rosewood Creek [MxM]

Chapter 21

 For the next few days, I decided to stay home. Skipping school was always easier when your parents aren't around. No reason to go, right? Especially when I didn't know what would happen to me next. I had finally accepted the bad luck that always determined my fate, playfully hiding in the shadows of an average day, invariably ready to ruin my mood.

After the incident, Nate didn't show up the next day. Instead, I found a crying James at my door, his cheeks red from the long journey he must have taken on foot to get to my house.

"Remy did you and Nate fight?" He cried as he clung to me.

"No we didn't fight but I'm skipping school this week."

James didn't like that answer, tightening his bear hug more, not wanting to let go until Kash and I promised to have a sleepover with him this weekend.

"I'll take you to school," Kash left, pulling the reluctant and teary-eyed James behind him. I felt bad for making him upset, it tugged at my heartstrings to see such a happy kid be so visibly distraught.

Kash still went to school every day though. He said it had something to do with not angering his dad. I felt bad for him, the constant fear over not upsetting his dad still drove him into that hell hole of a school. There were too many layers preventing me from getting to the bottom of Kash's home life. Nevertheless, I was still sound in my decision to stay home. If I was going to have my psychotic break, it was going to be in the safety of my own home, out of sight from the public eye.

After that day, I even tried to call the psychiatrist for new medications.

"Is there something wrong with your current prescriptions?" Dr. Louis questioned, her voice showing a slight concern over the phone.

"Umm, no, just wanted to see if you could push up my refill for pick up this week," I tenuously held my composure.

"If I do that Remy, I would have to schedule an appointment with you and call your parents," Dr. Louis sent the calculated dagger, killing all of my hopes.

"Ok, don't worry about it, I will see you next month then," I choked back tears before hanging up.

Fucking useless! I didn't have the heart to even ask for help from my fucking therapist. God, why did I bring my medications to school?!

There was no word from Theo either. Our idle Whatsapp thread made dealing with this whole thing even worse. My messages were left on read, ghosted. I took it as a sign to stop reaching out.

The first few days were full of anxiety that my life would be taken over by demons and ghosts that heretofore had always been kept at bay by the meds. This heavy stress swiftly shifted to a deep depression. At random parts of my day, tears overwhelmed me as my mind re-looped thoughts of losing my medications. Like a meticulous PowerPoint, it would transition to Theo and Nate fighting--never-ending, always in the back of my mind. I moped around all day in my bed, relying on old Bon Appetit videos on Youtube to carry me through this whole mess. It was mediocre and hopeless.

Today, however, I felt more energized than I had this entire week. With a new vitality, I got up and made the most of my day. Dedicating time to my detailed hair care routine, setting my curls with overzealous amounts of curling cream. When I finished, I used the rest of my energy to clean up the whole house, finally unpacking all of the boxes in the living room, opening the space to its intended use, rather than an expanded storage closet. I also took some liberties to re-organized Tina's desk in her office den, decluttering the space gave me at least some sense of accomplishment.