That Neighbor of Mine (BxB)

Kabanata 11

Kelly

I remained standing after he drove off. Nakatulala, nakatingin sa kawalan. Then, realization hits me again. There's no possibilities for us hence I should stop this.

Should I start distancing myself from him? I think... I should because it's no longer good for me. Nagiging mababaw ako at hindi ko gusto ang mga nararamdaman kong ito.

Jealous?... I'm so petty! Anong karapatan kong magselos? Ano ba ako? Just a... friend!

I sighed heavily and deeply.

I felt so worn out right now. From the yoga and also due to overthinking about this unreasonable feelings. Nagawa ko pa ngang makaramdam ng inis kay Camille na walang ginawa.

I hate myself for feeling like that!

Get a hold of yourself Kelly, grasp your rational self altogether!

He clearly always draw a line between us. Narinig mo naman siguro Kelly diba? A friend! Friend ka lang niya! That's the truth. Bakit kung maka-akto ka parang may namamagitan sa inyo? Oh gosh! Am I being delusional that much?!

The horror of what I just realized made me hate myself more. Hindi ko na napansin ang mga pinaggagawa ko! Am I this smitten over him?

I closed my eyes tightly and grasp my hair out of frustration I felt for myself! Ngayong natauhan ka na, dapat pag-isipan mo na ang mga ginagawa mo! That you are just friends with him! Kaya itigil mo na ang pag-iilusyon at pag-asa sa kanya kasi straight siya at babae ang gusto niya!

I bit my lip and stared straightly. I felt overwhelming frustration for myself. I breathed deeply to calm down myself.

Tanaw ko ang katapat na bahay nina Zeus. Sobrang tahimik nito, animo'y walang tao.

Napagtanto kong ngayon nga pala si Zeus at Oddysey lumabas. Napaisip ako kung sumipot nga ba si Zeus o hindi? I haven't texted one of them since this morning.

Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko sa loob ng duffel bag ko at agad na tiningnan kung may text sila. May text si Oddysey na 'di ko ata napansin kasi nasa yoga session ako.

I quickly opened it.

Oddysey:

He did really agree! Oh my gosh! He fetched me. You don't know how happy I am Kels. Thank you so much! Mwhua!

I felt relieved of what I learned. Mabuti't sinipot talaga ni Zeus. I'm happy for them. I wish... this could be the start of their step to like each other... step for Zeus to finally wake up and like Oddysey instead because she's a perfect pair for him.

I sighed!

I envy them. Masaya siguro sila ngayon. Ako naman ay lungkot at galit ang naramdaman para sa sarili.

I typed in my reply.

Me:

I'm glad for the both of you! Enjoy! :)

At pumasok na ako sa loob ng bahay namin. Dumiretso ako sa loob ng kwarto ko at nagshower. I want to rest now. I felt exhausted. I felt sad. I felt mad for myself. I want to calm myself for now kasi halo-halo ang nararamdaman ko para sa sarili.

Kaya pagkatapos kong mag-shower, humiga ako sa kama at natulog. Nagising lang nang maalimpungatan. I reached for my phone above the bedside table and took a peek of the time. Nakita kong alas sais na ng gabi.

Bumangon na ako. I think I slept for two hours and more. Bahagya kong tinanaw ang bintana sa kwarto ko at nakita ang labas na madilim na ang kalangitan. I wonder if mom is now at home.