Sexually Feeding

Just thinking

Why shit have to be so complicated? I just wanted sex and cuddles and that's all and I can't even get that! I keep getting these weird men that always have a flaw I can't over see. What I can't over see is a narcissist or a asshole that only thinks of himself and no one else. After my situation with curry it didn't go so well and it's not going well now. I really had a stupid thought that we could of been friends and shit but that didn't work out and I'm worried about other shit that's breaking me down. Hurting is one thing but pain is so much different and I'm overly disappointed how we turned out but is it wrong even with our situation I don't want nothing to do with him in a way just because the way he treat me? I'm sick of being nice to so many people just to get hurt or they just think I like them so much or want to be with them and whole time I'm just really being nice and that's it! I can't catch a damn break. I liked curry, I really did but he fucked up his image I had of him in my head, I looked at him as a sex symbol and as my dominant sex partner but his fucking attitude stinks like buttcheeks in the hot sun! I think I will leave him alone After this situation is handled that we got going on because I don't see progression and I don't see effort either so I'm really not feeling it. I need to think on it and just accept the fact that he's not the best option for me maybe I need to realize that it was too good to be true and everything that I was thinking was just a simple fantasy and it's nothing wrong with fantasies but it becomes a problem when you think it can become real. I sit a just think about stuff and things that I could of did to prevent my feelings from getting hurt and feelings lost but I'm wasting my time because I alway get hurt even when I don't deserve it. I try to excuse his bull shit because I think he's going through a lot and now In our situation shit probably make it worse but why yo say something or talk about it. The stuff he say makes me think that he's bipolar and weird in a way because one minute he like me then he hate me and then he wants to fuck me, it's the craziest shit ever! All I wanted was bomb ass sex and some damn cuddles and a couple kisses and that's it but things got so fucking complicated and I just can't understand why. I just want things to be normal again when I use to just be a girl that had a simple crush on him and he advice and flirt with him but I guess that's long gone.