❀ℬ𝒶𝒷𝓎-𝒟𝒶𝒹𝒹𝓎❀ ⁽ᵃᵗˢᵘᵐᵘ ˣ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ⁾

❀27

1135 words

Crying only made me feel nauseous but sometimes I just can't help it.

I pull open my nightstand drawer and stare at my mother's bible. It's still where I left it.

I take it from the drawer and open it.

My mother had bookmarks placed throughout her bible so I just picked a place marked. This place happened to be marked with notebook paper folded in half.

I unfold the paper and realize there's more than just one.

It's Bible verses that my mother jotted down

I used to know verses from the Bible even when I had only been a child.

I smile softly and read.

For God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

– John 3:16-17

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

– Romans 6:23

If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

– 2 Chronicles 7:14

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.

– Proverbs 17:9

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

– Luke 6:37

Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.

– 1 Peter 3:9

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

– Matthew 18:21-22

Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.

– Joel 2:13

I tell you, her sins — and they are many — have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.

– Luke 7:47

And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the spirit will not be forgiven.

– Matthew 12:31

Hatred stirs old quarrels, but love overlooks insults.

– Proverbs 10:12

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

– 2 Corinthians 5:17

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

– Colossians 3:12-13

.. "Mama took the time to write these down and there seems to be more placed throughout her bible.. the last one, Colossians 3:12-13 sounds like my mom down to a T. 
I remember mama used to go to church and bring me with her, I even remembered Nana and Uncle Lenni attending.. Poppop did too, Shin and I had been small but I'm sure he remember going... ."

The church wasn't like those you see in town, big and bustling with people although it is the same congregation.  The Church Of Christ. It sat probably 30 and instead of surrounded by business and traffic it had lush green grass and trees, it's surroundings are quiet except for the bridal nature and Cicadas chirps. The white cross could be seen from quite a ways even though it isn't exactly considered''in the city'.
I think that's one reason my family enjoyed Sunday's..

I wonder if it's still there..

I fold the paper back into my Mamas bible then close the Bible.

I take notice to the snow globe still sitting on top of my nightstand.

Bowing my head and Closing my eyes I pray.

"I know you would never throw something my way that I couldn't handle, Lord I pray my child be born healthy and that it's life is full of happiness and love. I'm struggling with something though, Atsumu has a right to know but more importantly my baby has a right to know it's father. I'm scared.. Atsumu has been clear on his plans after graduation, he's going to play professional volleyball. Finding out he has a child on the way.. not to mention he's a year younger than me so he is still in high school for the next couple of years.. I mean, I can't see him taking it well. He would freak out. If he decided he didn't want to be apart of our babies life.. I'm so conflicted. Then there's his parents that have been like my adopted parents, I'm sure they never exspected to be grandparents at such a young age but they would do right by the baby I truly believe that. They will make wonderful grandparents, but letting them into our lives means Atsumu would find out.. I just want to finish school and do everything I can for this baby. I did wrong when Atsumu and I slept together and I acknowledge that and I have asked for forgiveness before but I'll ask again. Please forgive me Lord i have sinned and now I am facing the consequences but I don't see this baby as a bad thing but a blessing. Thank you for blessing me with such a task as being a mother. Please guide me on the path I need to be on, please take care of us lord and keep us healthy. As for my father, I forgive him. I don't think I ever hated him, he's my dad. I pray he gets the help he needs, I pray he repents for all he's done, please have mercy on him lord. Give my mama a hug and kiss for me please. Until next time. Amen"

It's as if a ton of weight has been lifted off my shoulder, I sigh.

"I need to pack clothes.." I stand up and stretch.

Once again my eyes land on the snow globe and I instantly think of the Miya's.

"Maybe writing a note would be easier.. I'll have to do that later."

I pick up the snow globe and turn the nob on the bottom then sit it back down.

The pink flakes fall as the toon plays.

I decide it's time to pack.