Even In The Grave, All Is Not Lost

Something To Hold Onto

[Trigger Warning: suicidal thoughts. More implied than anything but I figured a warning was needed just in case]

. . .

"You're still here." Luna blinked in surprise as she opened the bathroom door into the bedroom, revealing one very awkward looking mechanic perched on the tip of her bed.

Her stomach flipped and she hushed it.

Raven looked up, the discomfort plain on her face. "Uh, yeah. I just thought, in case anything went wrong and you still needed help, this would save you making a naked dash from your room over to mine. Murphy does not deserve to see that."

Luna chuckled a little, ducking her head. "Well, thankyou. That was very considerate."

Though, a part of her suspected it wasn't the real reason Raven had elected to stay behind. She'd been odd during their encounter earlier, maybe because of what had happened down at the river. She knew the tumble had shaken her, perhaps almost as much as it had shaken Luna. Unsurprising when the Sky Girl had showed such nervousness around the ocean's edge the first time they had ventured out together. If Raven couldn't swim, then finding herself submerged in foreign waters must have been alarming.

Perhaps she needed the reassurance of company.

Or perhaps Luna did and she was merely projecting.

She hadn't been lying about her befuddlement with the shower controls and had needed the help - though she was confident she could have figured it out eventually (Luna had always been resourceful). But her stomach had also been rocking back and forth since the river, rising and falling and threatening to expel its contents. When she'd approached the shower at first, the bile inside her had risen so high, she'd fled the room.

Seeking out Raven had been an excuse. A way to pull herself from that sickly sensation, the turbulent memories that had made themselves known with nauseating clarity - and breathe.

Raven helped her breathe.

Perhaps that was why Luna was so pleased by the sight of her now. Still here, still close. . .

She won 't be for long.

Luna withdrew from the reminder, even though she knew she shouldn't.

Ignoring the sharp brevity of Raven's lifespan wasn't likely to do her any favors. But she still couldn't make herself bear witness to it.

Not yet.

Luna went to massage the unsteady material around her hands, only to find empty skin. Right. Her gloves had been abandoned with the rest of her sodden clothes.

For a moment, she considered reaching out and taking Raven's hand instead, running her fingers over the band that encircled her wrist, soothing herself to the sensation of the other woman's warmth, tangled in with the rise and fall of aging threads.

But she couldn't.

She'd noticed Raven getting increasingly uncomfortable with her touch. Had made an effort to ease off as a result. Control herself.

Had failed more times than she could count.

(shamefully, Luna could admit that there were times when she'd allowed herself to fail)

Mostly, she'd taken to contenting herself with the briefest of touches. Those seemed to provoke the least amount of reaction.

No hugs.

(which anyone who'd known her would attest was quite a feat)

She'd always been contact seeking. Ever since she was a child. Had always used it to soothe her, even before she understood that was the intention.