Even In The Grave, All Is Not Lost

I Made a Promise I Couldn't Keep

Trigger Warning: reference to past self-harm; reference to past disordered eating (not an eating disorder but still might be triggering); some pretty bad self-harm stigma (that obviously does not reflect my own views); past child abuse

. . .

The IVs proved wholly necessary.

At least in Luna's case.

Shortly after their conversation had dried up, she was bent over the bucket again. Heaving. Raven wasn't entirely sure how her body was managing it. Surely there was nothing left in there by now?

She certainly hadn't eaten since they'd arrived in the room. Raven had nibbled half-heartedly at some crackers but any attempts to do the same had only sent Luna rushing to the bucket yet again.

Thankfully, the human body could survive a long time without food. It just wasn't all that pleasant.

A concept Luna was as intimately familiar with as her.

Raven hadn't forgotten that story about the rabbit. Would never forget it.

It was fucked up that anyone would think that starvation was a viable teaching method. But the Flame Keepers seemed to have a lot of fucked up ideas - about everything. It was a relief Luna had gotten free of their tenterhooks years ago. That they no longer had any influence over their former charge's life.

Awkwardly, Raven rose from the bed, making her way over to Luna. She reluctantly dragged the IV stand along, like the world's most cumbersome extra limb.

She'd helped Raven out during her own vomiting bouts. It was only fair that she return the favor.

Carefully, she wrapped her hands around Luna's hair, sweeping it back, away from danger. The strands were thick and tangled, not nearly as soft as she'd imagined, more greasy than anything - all factors that made it possible not to completely lose her shit at the reality of what she was doing. Gripping it in one fist, Raven moved a hand over her back, rubbing rhythmically. As Luna had done for her.

It wasn't an entirely foreign gesture. Raven had helped Finn like this once as well.

But she wouldn't think about that.

On the bright side, touching Luna's back was a hell of a lot easier when she actually had all her clothes on. Plus, the jacket was relatively thick and added an extra layer of protection. Despite how often the thing had gotten on Raven's nerves, she found herself grateful for it now.

You and I might just become reluctant allies, pal.

"Thankyou," Luna gasped, shakily straightening up. The bucket trembled in her hands. "I think that's it."

Raven ignored the thanks, reaching for a tissue and handing it to her.

She accepted it with a weak smile, wiping her face.

Raven wished it was enough to put her attraction in the grave. That her heart didn't still flutter at the sight of Luna's smile, despite a stray fleck of vomit that the tissue soon brushed away.

I have lost my mind.

It was the only explanation.

There was nothing attractive about this.

Nothing that should make her stomach squirm as warmth built steadily in her chest.

(nothing but Luna's smile)

"Feel okay to lie back down?"

She nodded, inching back across the bed. Before Raven could think better of it, she reached out, helping to support her weight and guide her down.