Even In The Grave, All Is Not Lost

Atlas's Choice

'You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.'

- unknown

. . .

"Raven?"

At Luna's voice, she looked up from her tablet, pausing in the middle of a sentence on photosynthesis. "Yeah?"

"I know gratitude makes you uncomfortable," Oh great, so she hadn't been hiding that at all, had she? "But I need to thank you again for yesterday. I was. . ." Luna took a breath, set it free. "I lost myself in the memories. Your help. . . it meant a lot."

What help?

She'd barely given any at all. The one thing Luna needed most, Raven had denied her. "Yeah, well, you did the same for me." Raven suppressed a shiver at the phantom impression of strong arms around her, soft breasts against her back. . . It hadn't been at all arousing at the time. These days, though, her brain was liable to go to town with the memory and exploit it for the sake of her increasingly frustrated libido. Raven cleared her throat. "At least you weren't trying to beat the shit out of anyone."

Except maybe yourself.

And unlike Raven, she'd actually held her when she'd needed it. Hadn't denied her that.

She clenched her hands, pushing down the sting of self-loathing. "How are you feeling now?"

Though Raven could certainly hazard a guess from their conversations today, which ranged from light-hearted to deeply morose. But it was a subtle offer for her to talk about it. If she wanted to.

Luna smiled weakly. "I'll be alright. The worst is over."

In more ways than one.

(though for the rest of them, the worst was still to come)

Raven hesitated before pushing her tablet away and rising from the bed. She took a seat beside Luna, who turned to her, lips rising further. "I meant what I said, you know? It wasn't your fault. None of it."

Her smile didn't falter but there was still nothing genuine about it. "I know. I think it's still going to take some time before I can believe it, though." She hesitated. "I was taught that the survival of my people - of everyone - depended on me from the moment I could understand what those words meant. Who I consider to be my people may have changed over the years but. . . that belief never did. It's a hard thing to shake."

And now the survival of everyone really does depend on you.

Great.

"Hey, remember what else I said? You're not that fucking important." Raven forced her mouth to lift in a smile. "I meant that too."

Except for the small little caveat that she was becoming increasingly important to Raven. Too important.

Luna's smile relaxed into something real. "And neither are you."

Raven rolled her eyes. "Just what every girl wants to hear."

Her eyes creased, mouth softening, melting into something fond. "When it comes to the universe, Raven, to what you can do in it, for it. . . you're not that important. But who you are, what you mean to people. . . you couldn't possibly be any moreso."

She swallowed, feeling the burn in her cheeks, the way her ribcage felt like it was suddenly threatening to burst open, unable to contain the organ within.

Why did Luna have to be so fucking. . . Luna?

"And in case no-one's ever told you, there is nothing written down in the laws of the universe that says it's your responsibility to save everyone."