Even In The Grave, All Is Not Lost

Beautiful Things

A/N: So sorry guys! I completely forgot to crosspost this chapter over from AO3 after I updated

. . .

"You don't need a sad soul to feel the beauty of a dead grave

Just stay with the pale moon when darkness wants the night to be brave."

― Munia Khan

. . .

She hadn't meant to tell Luna about Finn.

Really, she hadn't. But their relationship was beginning to feel a little one-sided. Luna had opened herself up to Raven, told her things that she was still a little in awe of - in awe of the fact that Luna would even consider her deserving of such knowledge - and it had left her somewhat rattled.

Lost.

She'd wanted to give something back.

An unusual urge. Not one she often felt.

Raven was far more comfortable with keeping her pain locked inside, hidden from view - unable to be touched by others. Judged.

She had a lot of pain, but little of it that she was comfortable sharing.

The wound left over from Finn's death still hurt like hell but it had managed to scar over a little in the time since. Raven could display it without fear that she was going to reopen that scab, tear the stitches and bleed out.

She could talk about him. Sometimes she even liked to.

But it always hurt.

She suspected it would hurt even more with Luna, who - as Raven had become increasingly aware of - saw far too fucking much.

Still, she needed to give Luna something. Something that would tip the scales back into balance and make this friendship or whatever they had going on just a tiny bit more even.

(she'd always hated being in debt. Receiving more than she could give. And she resented Luna, just a little, for constantly giving her so much)

And. . . and a part of Raven did want to tell her. Wanted to say the words. A part that had sprung up by the river, listening to Luna pull back the curtain into the dark room of her past. The trust in that one simple gesture.

In that moment, she didn't want to just listen to Luna. She wanted to share with her.

Crazy, inexplicable - but she did.

So, Raven started talking. And talking.

Not about Finn. Not at first.

She approached the subject from the side, creeping towards it like one of those freaky-looking crabs she'd noticed down at the beach - as though, if Raven couldn't fully see where she was headed, she wouldn't dodge to avoid it.

A stellar plan, really.

She started with the day Arkadia had been surrounded by Grounders, the day she would never be able to forget. The ultimatum that had been given to them. What they - what Raven - had to sacrifice in order to broker peace.

(she left out the part where she'd tried to offer Murphy up in Finn's stead.

Not one of her proudest moments.

Mostly because Raven still wasn't sure she'd do any differently, if given the chance.

It was Finn.)