Even In The Grave, All Is Not Lost

To Be Understood

A/N: they're back, jelly babies! Finally, I present to you Luna and Raven both awake in the same chapter

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Trigger Warning: child abuse, implied sex work and sexual exploitation (not Raven or Luna) - on the show, we saw that this was an issue on the Ark, though it was more implied than anything

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Raven could remember the first time she'd felt that sickening burn of jealousy. Though she hadn't known it at the time. Hadn't recognized the feeling for what it was.

She'd been six. Maybe seven.

Sitting on the floor in their cabin, fiddling with a metal chess piece in her hand. A horse. The board had belonged to her grandfather.

She'd never met him.

After minutes of deliberating over her next move, Raven finally felt certain of a decision. Set the horse down.

Anticipation filling her gut, she looked up at her mummy.

Her mummy who was seated opposite her. Her mummy who was playing with her.

Today was their day.

"Your move."

"Well, I don't know how I'll beat that." Her mummy tsked but her eyes were light with a smile.

Today was a good day.

"Try. You can do it." Raven liked to win. But she liked it when her mummy was happy more. And she was always happy when she won.

A knock sounded on the door.

No.

Raven ignored it, holding her breath as she waited for her mummy to make her move. She didn't.

"One second, baby."

Heart sinking, Raven watched as she rose to her feet, made her way over towards the door. One second. It was just going to be one second.

(this time it really would be one second)

The door opened and a man stepped inside. She'd seen him before. Too many times. His eyes always passed over the room like she wasn't there. Worse. When he came, her mummy's eyes started doing the same.

When he came, Raven ceased to exist.

She watched as the two of them had a hushed conversation. Couldn't make out the words. Knew it wouldn't matter even if she could. The result was always the same.

Her mother smiled - that too large Alice in Wonderland smile - and touched his hand, trailing her finger over the surface. Then she drew him further inside. Shut the door.

(it wasn't going to be one second)

"Raven, I need you to go outside and play for a little while."

Their cabin was one room with one bed. A bed they shared. Raven knew what her mummy did on that bed when she wasn't supposed to be watching. Had opened her eyes in the middle of the night to terrifying sounds. She'd pretended to stay asleep, not to see.

But she had.

She always saw.

"But what about our game?" Raven shouldn't ask. Knew she shouldn't ask.

But her heart was squeezing in on itself and the words were out before she'd even thought them.

Her mother pursed her lips. The first warning sign. "We'll finish it later." They wouldn't. "Now, outside. It's bad for you to spend all day cooped up in here anyway."