Starting Over 💙

Chapter 7

A few hours after Chris leaves someone drops off groceries. As Ellie starts to put stuff away she realizes he had to have talked to Emily about more than just her adoration of Captain America. The groceries contained staples with some of her favorites sprinkled in; Reese's cups, cookie dough ice cream, he even bought her favorite coffee. She couldn't deny his thoughtfulness, but she couldn't help but think he just had some sort of hero complex. He wanted to save her and she didn't know if she could be saved. She wasn't sure if she could trust his intentions. After she was better, would he still want her around? He didn't even really know her.

~~~

Later in the night when she is making dinner, Ellie plays music and dances around the kitchen. She sees Dodger get up and leave the room and she turns around to find someone in the kitchen, making her jump. "Fuck me." She sees the man has his phone up recording her.

He laughs, "I announced myself, you didn't hear me."

"You must be Chris' brother Scott. Please tell me you're not going to send that to Chris." She reaches out her hand for him to shake which he accepts with a smile.

"Sorry, love. I just did."

She groans, flinching slightly at the nickname, "don't call me that. And way to get off on the wrong foot." She laughs as he sits at the counter. "I made fajitas, you want some?"

Scott sits at the counter and watches her plate some for him. "Yeah I do! It's about time Chris date someone that can cook."

She sets food in front of him hesitantly, "he said we were dating?"

Scott smiles at her, "aren't you? You think he would let just anybody stay in his house? Or watch his dog? I can tell you that he would not."

She shakes her head with a sigh. "No. He just is worried about me being alone."

"If you say so." He points to her necklace.

Ellie plays absentmindedly with the pendant thinking about what Chris said about him needing her to let him in but she wasn't sure if she could.

~~~

Scott and Tara alternate staying with her everyday until she's fully healed; physically anyway. "Chris said you're answering him less and less. Why are you shutting him out?" Tara sits with Ellie in Tara's office a few weeks after Chris returned to filming.

"I don't know. Have you found me an apartment?" She stopped wearing the necklace he gave her and wanted to get out his house. She couldn't stay there any longer. She felt like a ghost walking around somebody else's house.

Tara hesitates, but hands her a few listings. "He cares about you Ellie. Please don't shut him out."

Ellie takes the listings and stands up, glancing at the pages. She groans and sits back down, setting the papers back on the desk. "I don't know. I'm considering going back to New York with Emily after the trial."

"What about Chris?" Tara stands up from behind her desk and sits next to her friend.

"What about him? We barely know each other. He just saw someone he wanted to help, someone he wanted to save. I don't need to be saved."

Tara grabs her hand, "You can't really believe that. I know him better than anyone. He's upset you aren't talking to him. He just really cares about you."

Ellie takes her hand away and stands up. "I can't believe that. I'm no good for anyone." She walks to the door and turns back to her friend, "I'll see you tomorrow at the sentencing."

~~~

Emily shows up to Chris's house early the next morning for Ellie. She enters to find that Ellie had packed all her stuff. "Ellie, are you sure about this?" She finds Elllie in the bathroom getting ready.

"You're the one that suggested I come back to New York with you."

"Yeah. I meant that before, when you were hurt. Before you had him. Don't walk away like this." She crosses her arms over her chest as she glares at her sister, watching her get ready.

Ellie groans, "I'm tired of everybody telling me what to do. I've outstayed my welcome. I don't want to be here anymore."

Emily grabs her sister and to make her face her. "He cares about you. You can't just throw that away."

Ellie pulls her arm away, ignoring her sisters words and the look of worry on her face, "movers are here. We have to get going."

~~~

Ellie meets her lawyer at the courthouse and follows her in. Just as they are about to start she hears the door behind them open and shut. She turns to see Chris enter the courtroom. He sits next to Emily who was sitting next to her holding her hand. Emily releases Ellie's hand, "Sorry."

She gets up, and Ellie knows what she's about to do, "Emily, don't." But her sister doesn't listen as she stands up, motioning for Chris to scoot next to Ellie.

He leans in to her ear, "I miss you. We need to talk." Ellie doesn't say anything, just shakes her head. She feels her heart stop as she watches the bailiff brings in James, him smirking at her. She instinctually grabs Chris's hand and he squeezes. She looks down at his hand and back up to him and lets go. She listens as they go through everything he did, making her feel more and more nauseous as they continue to speak. They even bring up their relationship when they were married, including the whole reason she ended up leaving him.

She closes her eyes and shakes her head, she hadn't told Chris she had been pregnant. She feels him looking at her, but she just looks down, still shaking her head and whispers, "don't."

After the sentencing Ellie tries to rush out without having to talk to Chris, but he corners her in the stairwell. "Please, we need to talk." He grabs her arm to make her turn around, making her flinch. He holds up his hand, showing her the necklace he bought her cradled between his fingers, "you left this at the house."

She doesn't look at him in the eyes, picking a spot on the floor. "I don't want it. Or your pity."

He puts the necklace in his pocket and watches her, "pity? What pity? Why are you leaving? Why are you ignoring me?"

"Because I can't be with someone that just sees me as a project. Just someone to fix." She looks up and locks eyes with him, unable to ignore the obvious pain at what she was doing to him.

"When did I ever say any of that? I care about you."

"You just wanted someone to save. I'm safe, so your job is done. I'm going back to New York with Emily so you shouldn't have come."

He  grabs her arm before she can turn away. "I came here to support you. And you can't possibly think that I only wanted to be with you because I wanted to save you. Please Ellie."

"Let go of me Chris. Face it, we don't even know each other. You saw someone that needed help and you can't not help them. That does not a relationship make."

He hesitates but lets go of her arm. "We have time to get to know each other better. And I want to. I want you. And not just because you were someone to save. But because of who you are. I don't need to know every detail about you to know that I love you." He puts his hand gently on her face, not letting her flinch deter him. He speaks softer, "Please Ellie. Just let me in."

She grabs his hand from her face as tears start to roll down, "I'm sorry, I just can't Chris." She leaves him standing in the stairwell still thinking about the fact that he just said he loved her.

~~~

When Ellie arrives with Emily back at her place in New York, Emily hands her something. She looks down to find the shield necklace from Chris. He must have given it to Emily to give to her. "It doesn't have to be the end Ellie. You have to let somebody in eventually, I don't think you'll find anyone better." Emily leaves her in her room and shuts the door just as the tears fall from Ellie's face. She knew Emily was right, but couldn't get over her own insecurities enough to let anyone in, especially Chris.