Starting Over 💙

Chapter 6

Chris wakes up in the middle of the night to an empty bed. "Ellie?" He leaps out of bed wondering if he'll always worry this much about her. "Elizabeth?" He sees the door to the patio open and finds her outside on the ground with her knees pulled to her chest crying. He kneels down in front of her, "hey! What are you doing? You're going to get sick out here."

Ellie tries to hide her face, burying it in her knees. She tried to wipe away the tears because she didn't want Chris seeing her like this. "I'm sorry. I'm fine."

"Obviously." He scoffs sarcastically and stands up, "come on." He bends down and scoops her up and carries her back to bed and sets her down gently. He sits in front of her and puts the blanket on her. "Why do you shut me out? After everything. I'm here. Please." He brushes hair out of her face, forcing her to look at him.

"You're angry again." She wraps the blanket tighter around her, withdrawing inward.

"I am a little. Yeah. How can I leave you here alone like this?" He reaches out to touch her but she flinches. He stands up on the side of the bed. "I can be angry and not want to harm you Ellie. Come on, I'm not him! I don't know how to make you understand that!"

"Chris. I'm sorry." She starts to cry again and grabs for his hand. "I know you aren't. Please. Sit."

He grabs something from his nightstand and sits back in the center of the bed next to her. Ellie drops the blanket and sits in front of him, her leg on either side as he pulls her closer to him making her slightly wince. "Sorry."

"It's okay Chris." She puts her hands up to his face as he wraps the blanket back around them. "I know you are different. I just can't help it sometimes." She pulls him in for a kiss, his tongue quickly finds hers, making her moan. "Chris, you're the sweetest, most gentle man I've ever met." She leans back slightly, removing her shirt. "Please, make me forget." He shakes his head, knowing what she wants. "Give me a better memory Chris."

He pushes her gently away from him. "No. I don't want to hurt you."

"That's exactly why you won't, please." She pulls him back into a kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He pulls her back to him, gently wrapping his arms around her, "I do want to. I do. I just.."

"I know. I trust you Chris. I don't trust anyone else." She pulls at the bottom of his shirt, helping him remove it. She stands up and removes the rest of her clothing as he watches her. He stands up and stops her before she removes her underwear, grabbing his shirt to hand to her. "I'm sorry. I just can't. Not like this." He sees her starting to cry again as she puts on his shirt quickly. "I want the first time to be because you want to, not just to forget about him."

"I do want to, but I understand. Let's just go back to bed." She doesn't look at him as she lays back down in bed, facing away from him.

Chris rubs her arm as she lays on her side, "hey. I have something for you. Sit up." She wipes her tears away and sits up next to him as he hands her a box. "Your sister told me about your Captain America obsession. And I saw your comic books." He motions to the boxes along the wall. She opens it to find a necklace with a silver pendant of Captain's shield.

She laughs and looks up at him, "I'm not sure it was a good idea to leave you alone with Emily."

He smirks and grabs the necklace out of the box and places it around her neck. "I'm not like him. I thought the shield was pertinent, and not just because of the obvious. But because it shields your heart. Let me shield your heart." He runs his fingers along her cheek, "if you let me in."

"Thank you Chris." She leans in for a kiss before laying back down facing away from him. She feels him lay down and wrap his arms around her as she silently cries. She knew why he had rejected her, but she couldn't help the feeling it gave her. She felt stupid for putting herself out there just for him to say no even if he was doing it for her.

~~~

Ellie wakes up alone in bed. She gets dressed and goes to the kitchen where she finds him at the stove making breakfast. "Chris?"

She watches him flutter around the kitchen. "Hey. You're awake. I made you breakfast. And there's coffee going now. Groceries should be delivered in a few hours. I let Dodger out this morning already. I'm so sorry, but I have to get going."

She moves to stand in front of him, making him stop. "Chris. Stop." He stops and looks down at her, "you're leaving."

"I know." He sighs and runs his fingers through her hair, "if it's any consolation, I don't want to."

She wraps her arms around his neck. "I know. I'm going to miss you. Now," she grabs his arms and puts them around her before placing hers back around his neck, "kiss me. Please."

He bites his lip before leaning in, "as you wish." He pulls her to him gently as he raises a hand to her cheek pulling her into a kiss. His lips soft at first, he lets her take the lead with how far he could go. She pulls him closer, her tongue finding his, deepening the kiss. He tightens his grip on her back making her wince. "Fuck, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Everything just hurts still." Chris pulls away but she keeps her grip on him, "I'll be better by the time you get back. I'm sorry Chris."

He leans down and kisses her on the nose. "We don't have to rush anything. And before you say it, you're worth it to me." He lets go of her and pulls away. "Now I really do have to go now. I'm sorry."

"I know. Goodbye Chris."

He grabs his bag as he kisses her one more time. "I'll call you later. Scott will check on you tonight."