Starting Over 💙

Chapter 10

"Chris wants me to move back to Boston." Ellie sits on her sister's bed the following morning as she watched her get ready for work.

"You should. He loves you. And whether you like to admit it or not, you love him too. So, how was breakfast?"

"Um. It was good. He asked me about James. And I told him about our parents and what not. I'm really trying to open up, to let him in. It's hard though."

Emily sits next to her sister, "I know sweetie. I think that's all he wants, is for you to try."

Ellie sighed, "yeah, I know. You think I should move back to Boston with him when he goes back?"

"When is he going back?"

"In a few weeks, around my birthday. Thank you for that by the way. You didn't tell me you told him when my birthday was." She nudges her sister. "I'm gonna wait and see how the next few weeks go I think." She stands up, "thanks." She starts to leave but turns back to her sister, "oh, I won't be home for dinner, I'm making dinner for Chris at his place."

"Yeah?" Emily grinned, "that's great! Are you going to spend the night?"

"I don't really know. I wasn't planning on it. Now I'm nervous."

"Haven't you slept together already?"

"Well yeah. We've slept. Nothing else. Slept and kissed. I haven't had sex with anybody since James though. I tried to sleep with Chris. But it was while I was still healing. He didn't want to hurt me."

"Wow, I thought you guys did more than just sleep. Does he know you haven't slept with anyone since James?"

"God, I don't know. I kind of assumed he did. I hate you. Now I'm even more nervous than before. Go to work." The girls both laugh as Ellie leaves her sister in her room. She went into her room and plopped on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She couldn't deny that she was obviously attracted to Chris, how could she not be. But she wasn't sure how he would feel if he knew that James was the last man that she had been intimate with.

~~~

After Ellie and Chris have dinner he decides to put on a movie. "Chris? Can I talk to you about something?" Ellie turns slightly to face him on the couch and he mirrors her.

"Of course."

She scoots closer to him on the couch, "I'm really trying to let you in, but it's hard sometimes."

"I know. I appreciate you trying. And it doesn't have to be all at once. I have no intentions of going anywhere. Except back to Boston."

Ellie laughs, cradling his face in her hands, "let's see how the next few weeks go okay?"

He nods, "that's fair."

"So as I was saying. First I wanted to apologize, for trying to get you to sleep with me that night before you left. It wasn't the right circumstances. And it wasn't fair to you, but I just wanted to forget. I'm sorry Chris."

He leans in towards her, placing his hand on her cheek, "hey. It's okay. I wanted you, I still do. Just, not like that. We'll get there. When you're ready. And second of all?"

"Well. I haven't been with anyone since I was with James. I mean, you're the first man I've let touch my face since then, touch me at all really. And the only one I can be completely comfortable around. I want to stay over, but I don't know if I'm ready to do more than sleep yet."

"That's totally fine. I want you to stay here, even if we just sleep. I just want you around. We really don't have to rush anything, I'm enjoying getting to know you. We kind of skipped the whole dating thing. Maybe you were a little bit right about wanting to help you. But it wasn't just that, okay? I liked you from the moment I stepped out on my back patio on New Year's Eve."

Ellie groans."Ugh. Stop. Why do you always say the right things? I'm still waiting to find a flaw in you."

Chris laughs, "I'm really, really awful at cooking. Is there something else you wanted to talk about?"

Ellie sits up and straddles him on the couch, "yes. Two more things. Don't think I haven't noticed you saying you love me. What? Three times now? I don't want you to think just because I haven't acknowledged it that I don't feel the same way."

"I know." He grins as he wraps his arms around her, threading his fingers behind her back. "I want you to say it because you want to, not because I say it. What's the last thing?" He brushes a tendril of hair out of her face as her lips finds his. She kisses him urgently, hungrily. She wanted him so bad, she just wasn't able to get the image of James out of her head. Chris can't help but groan when she pulls away.

"Don't give up okay? And if I push you away, I want you to know it's not you. I want you. I want you so much."

He pulls her to him, as she rests her head on his shoulder. "It's okay. I'm not gonna give up. You tell me to stop, and I'll stop."

Ellie leans back to face him, "thank you. I don't know what I did to deserve you." She presses her lips firmly against his, her tongue finding his causing him to moan and pull her closer. He trails kisses to her neck and shoulders, "take me to bed Chris." He doesn't respond as he lifts her up and carries her to his bed, his lips never leaving her. He lays her down gently and moves kisses to her collar bone to the top of her blouse.

He starts to unbutton her shirt slowly, "is this okay?"

Ellie nods as he continues, his kisses following the buttons down to her stomach. He removes the shirt and tosses it on the ground before removing his own. "Chris."

"I'll stop before we go too far, I promise." He knew that she trusted him and was determined not to break that trust no matter how much he craved her.

And she knew he was trying to push the boundaries, but he was right, she trusted him to stop before she got uncomfortable so she just nods, "Okay." He stands up and removes his jeans. He undoes her own jeans, gently pulling them off of her. He trail kisses up her legs and her stomach. He kisses between her breasts before finding her mouth again. She lets out a moan as he presses his body against hers, feeling him hard against her. She places her hands on his chest and begins to push him away, "Chris."

"I know. I'm stopping." He lays down next to her as she lays her head on his chest, both of them out of breath.