Starting Over 💙

Chapter 14

"Your mom asked about kids today. If we were planning on having any." Ellie sits on the couch with Chris and Dodger after dinner a few days after moving to Boston.

Chris laughs, "I'm sorry. She's nosey. What did you say?"

"I said we hadn't really talked about it." She sits up to look at him, "but it's understood we will, right? I mean, do you want to have kids with me?"

Chris shoos Dodger off the couch, "Of course I do love. In fact, I'm completely okay with having kids with you tomorrow."

Ellie squeals as he lays her back on the couch with him on top. "I'm on birth control Chris."

He runs his fingers through her hair, "so stop taking it."

She pushes him off of her, sitting up, "wait, are you being serious right now?"

"One hundred percent Elizabeth Anne Spencer. I want to have kids with you."

He laughs as she groans, "I don't remember telling you my middle name."

"Emily did. And I'm serious, have kids with me." He reaches for her hand but she pulls away and stands up.

"Chris we haven't even talked about marriage yet, let alone kids."

He stands up, and grabs her hands in his, "hey, it's okay. Just breathe. What exactly is the problem here? I love you. I want to be with you."

She pulls away again and begins to pace, "I don't know. There's just a certain way to do things."

"You did things right the first time and look how that turned out."

Ellie stops and faces him, anger welling in her gut, "that's not fair." His words were like a slap to the face. She had tried to do everything right the first time. Meeting someone, falling in love, getting married and then having a baby. That was the way things were supposed to go, at least by societal standards. But the fact that Chris threw her past mistakes in her face so casually hurt her more than she would have liked to admit.

"Ellie, I'm sorry." He goes to grab her hand, but she pushes him away and leaves the house.

~~~

Ellie drives around for a while before ending at Chris' mom's house. She knocks on the door and waits. Lisa answers with a smile, "Is everything okay?" She motions for Ellie to enter.

"Yeah, everything is fine. I was hoping we could talk?" Ellie fidgets nervously with her hands as Lisa inspects her before turning to lead her to the kitchen.

"Of course sweetie, want some tea?" She points to the counter for Ellie to sit down.

"Sure, that would be good. Thanks."

She watches Chris's mom move about the kitchen. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"Well, I don't have a mom, and my sister lives in New York. I hope it's okay I'm here."

Lisa shakes her head and smiles. "Of course it is. You're welcome here anytime. With or without Chris."

"Thanks. I told Chris you asked about kids today. We've never talked about it before. I want to have kids, but I.." Ellie sighs, "well there's stuff you don't know."

Lisa sets a cup of tea in front of her and sits on the stool next to her. "So tell me."

"I was pregnant before. When I was married. I lost the baby when he.." Ellie wipes away a tear as Lisa grabs her hand, giving a small squeeze in comfort. "I was pregnant when he put me in the hospital. I ended up losing the baby."