Real/Safe Deleted Scenes

Sensitive

Trigger warning? Swearing and mentions of torture.
*set before Scars.

Cora POV:

I can hear the ticking of the clock. It's incessant. Tick Tick Tick TICK TICK TICK

I stand from my seat in the library. My book was discarded long ago. I thought I needed a distraction but right now I just need to not be here. I need to get out.

I march all the way to the back door. The feeling of disproportionate annoyance doesn't ease when I step outside. I resist the urge to kick the shrubbery of the garden.

Instead I force my feet to move differently. I hate the loud sound of swishing trees. Everything looks too sharp for my eyes. It doesn't even smell nice out here. It is a pond after all. It won't smell like roses.

I'm even annoyed at myself for being so annoyed. I have absolutely no reason to feel as aggressive as I do, but everything is slowly driving me crazy.

At first it was just the feeling of my hair against my neck. So I put my hair up and I thought I'd be fine. But now I'm maddeningly aware of myself and everything around me.

I can't take the feeling of my scars anymore. They burn against the supposedly soft fabric of my shirt. I'm torn between just taking it off or trying to get over it. I do live in a house with only guys. I can't just walk around shirtless.

I let out a frustrated shout. Everything is so angering right now and I don't even know why. It's like the world is too much for me and I'm being suffocated. I hate this feeling.

"I hate this!" I shout. There's no one around to hear me. And, that felt good. Finally something that feels good.

"I hate how I feel!" I shout again. I can breathe just a little easier.

"I hate these fucking SCARS!" I scream. The burn in my throat is distracting. Perfect.

"I HATE FEELING THEM! I HATE SEEING THESE FUCKING BRANDS! I'M NOT PROPERTY! I'M NOT SOME OBJECT THAT CAN BE BROKEN WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT!" I plant my feet.

"I HATE HOW MUCH I CAN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! I CAN'T SAY HIS FUCKING NAME TO CURSE HIM OUT!" I throw my head back and clench my eyes shut.

"FUCK YOU JOKE!" I stamp my foot.

"FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID ASS SUIT!" I pull the fabric of my shirt so it's flush against my back.

"I WILL NOT BE BROKEN BY A GOD DAMN PIECE OF PLASTIC!" I breathe deeply, shock starting to settle.

"I WAS ISOLATED FOR YEARS! I SPENT YEARS NOT BEING ABLE TO BLAME THE PEOPLE THAT HURT ME! I MOVED DIMENSIONS!" I let out a strangled sob. Not yet.

"I AM STRONGER THAN YOU EVER WILL BE YOU BASTARD! YOU CAN'T HURT ME!" I screech as tears start to fall. Not yet.

"I AM MORE THAN THE BLOODY MESS YOU MADE ME!" I sink to the ground. Not yet.

"I CAN TAKE IT! I CAN- I CAN SURVIVE THE HELL YOU PUT ME THROUGH!" My chest heaves with restrained sobs.

Now.

I cave. I sob, my whole body stammering with the force of them. I cry out in raspy screams.

Tears flood down my face. They flow down my throat in a way that's painfully soothing. I sob out another screech.

Everything is so overwhelming. So many emotions slam into me it makes me choke out an untimed sob. I feel like I'm suffocating from the very air I'm breathing.