I, Devil (a love story)

Chapter One: Azazel

Welcome to the end of the world. While this isn't the first apocalypse we have had, this is one where we've not been before. While every lifetime is the end, this is the first were we have reached the end of a dimension. It isn't just an ending for mankind. This is an apocalyptic ending for creatures of all consciousness. From one consciousness to another, we are in this together.

We could spend this entire book going over how we got here and why. I think that time is better spent not doing that because it avoids the more challenging issue: this is where we are now. In saying this, I fear that we're going to be upset. Instead, a more logical choice would be to celebrate it.

I know what you're going to say-- that all endings are just new beginnings in disguise, so there isn't anything to fear. This is just the end of an era. All things are possible. I believe that this is true. But, that still doesn't alleviate the issue or make this less painful. The world is ending, and while this happens every day in one way or another, it is ending in an entirely different way this time.

Every single person will play their part. Even the smallest ones play a vital role. We've heard this before but it never has been broken down. I play a very important role myself but it is much less in the spotlight than I imagined it would be.

I am writing this as a forward since I am not entirely sure where I should begin. We could begin in 2012, or we could begin in 2020, so I'll start somewhere around there. In the autumn of 2007, I noticed my brother acting strange.

When I say strange, I mean my brother is a deity older than time. I myself am the oldest entity in the universe, besides God. That my brothers and I were formed as eternal consciousnesses, and our personalities split with the power of kinetic centripetal force in the way that moons are formed in the celestial heavens. My brother, murrain. Where I am ego, he is ego-less. Where I am pride, he is humble. He is my shadow, my twin. We all have twins. From the twins, further personalities are pulled apart-- and they have their own identities and names. We never had mortal bodies to weigh us down. We aren't born and we are outside time, so there is no elder. Together, we are the devil. We are all related, so we're similar. But, since I guess I'm the 'first,' I am also considered the Devil with a capital 'D,' though all my brothers are powerful in their own right.

We know each other well and we respect one another's boundaries. That's why names are important. Without skin and flesh telling us apart, all we have is our names. We wear the banner of red hair, like a flag identifying its ships. The good guys always appear blonde--especially in art. However, since we don't have skin-- that's all stupid and irrelevant anyway. We're Brothers. We are connected by thought. We can choose to communicate 'telepathically' this way. Though, that term implies we have brains.

My brother doesn't talk to the rest of us often. He doesn't like to appear human, either, so he would tell you he has absolutely no hair color. He doesn't appear in art. He doesn't even like to have a name, so that's why I call him murrain-- which is an old world term for disease, a pestilence... Which is really peculiar, since identity is so important. He actively seems to try to erase himself. Since we are immortal beings, this is virtually impossible. We can't commit suicide (which isn't to say we can't be obliterated) but, we certainly can't do it to ourselves, at least, it hasn't been done yet.

It is like having a radio channel dedicated to your family's chatter, only it's in your head. All the time. For all of eternity. There's no death so you could easily drive yourself or the others insane. Sometimes, a strong bond will form and the identity of one becomes two. I mean, why not? We all came from one consciousness. We aren't born from wombs, like humans. Many of us have merged over time.

There was no bigger glutton of this than my other brother. He actively, maliciously, tried to consume the consciousnesses of the Brotherhood to make himself an enormous monstrosity. I'll get back to him in a bit, though.

Murrain cut himself off from communicating with us and went black. He couldn't be consumed, because his consciousness was so vehement. His identity couldn't be shaken. He was, and is, like a black hole. He couldn't be spoken to unless he was interested in communicating, first. The only one he ever spoke to on any occasion, was me, since we are technically the closest in our makeup. But, we are also polar opposite, if that makes any sense. It's the way that the alchemy works. Where I am up, he is down. My vibrations are bright and technicolor, and his are black. 

Just black. Always with the black. So, while we are close, we are by no means... close.
Anyone who's ever had a goth sibling would understand. He just likes to keep his door closed and play his music loud. Only, he's genetically engineering humanity's bloodlines and genetic codes. Why? Who knows. We all have agendas. Some of us are just trying to make the world a better place.

It turns out, it wasn't for the reason's any of us thought.

That's why he's interesting! My brother murrain, the sullen sack of rain clouds and darkness personified... was interested in humans. And it wasn't just because he hated them, which he did-- and does. He doesn't speak to any of us, ever, which brings me back to 2007. I had been stalking him for... eons. I like to keep tabs on my brothers. Especially if they haven't spoken to me for a long long time. I feel his... absence. I called him murrain because... he likes viruses and things. He finds it an easy backdoor way to hack into human genetic code. Obviously, that could be used to hurt humanity. So, it is something we all like to keep tabs on.

Murrain also has a reputation for the Black Death, which is still going around. He was also, in part, responsible for the repetitive flu outbreaks in the 1800s. He isn't the biggest devil, but he is among the most respected, perhaps even feared. With all the silence, I knew he was up to something again.

He had a family which he picked on. Like lab rats. I don't know the particulars of his hauntings but I can't imagine that it was nice. I knew it was some family in Michigan, but I didn't pay attention much. I went to find him--and it was hard, since he wasn't exactly having 'callers.' He barely ever responded to my repeated attempts at getting his attention.

It was a windy day. I knew that he had been around. We all have our signature. His is an ozone smell, and an abundance of wind. It's his set vibration, his frequency. It somehow felt like he had been around. His usual stomping ground, in that trailer in Michigan. It took me a long time because he didn't want to be found. He could be anywhere at any time. He could be in Tampa Bay in 1974, or he could be in Najafabad, Iran, 2014. Only because I had been taking a special interest to watch him did I notice that something was afoot.