I, Devil (a love story)

Chapter 49: Azazel

I wanted to dress for the occasion. Adramelech and I have a long, deep relationship. However, if what Meresin said was true, then we were adversaries. I knew Adramelech well enough to know that he was greedy above all things, and that if he wanted something-- namely Wendy-- then he wasn't going to stop until he had his glut.

I fixed and filed my nails. There was one still broken from the fiddle contest that needed to grow back. I repaired it. I wanted to look impeccable. I wanted to see impressive. Adramelech was my rival, now, and I knew he loved to put on a show.

He was close to reality, just near the Veil, so he couldn't be his full impressive self. I just wanted to look a LITTLE better than him. I wore just my suit and made sure I was invisible to humans. I also had a look out to make sure Meresin wasn't around spying. I didn't see him or feel him, but I knew he was very good at remaining undetected. Being so close to physical reality always made me feel like I was being watched.

I found him laying on what looked to be a pond. It wasn't a real pond, but one he conjured for himself. He was sprawled out on a plastic inner tube with a adult beverage in his hand. His huge gut hung out for all to see. I was surprised he bothered to have pants on.

"Jesus Christ on a cracker, what are you doing?" I asked, revealing myself to him. He looked terrible. He put on more weight. "What is this????" I asked, hooking my shoe on his inner tube to pull him closer to shore.

"I'm retired," said Adramelech. He wore sunglasses even though it was a cloudy day. I watched as he chewed the end a limp celery stick that had been soaking in tomato juice. "So I retired here."

"This is Wendy's house," I said, hands on my hips.

"I know who's house it is," grumbled Adramelech. "I'll tell you what I told Sachiel before I ate him-- I'm not moving."

"You finally ate Sachiel? I can tell," I said as I folded my arms and eyed his gigantic stomach.

"He didn't go down easy," said Adramelech. "I'm not feeling my best."

"Oh?" I asked with a frown. He looked bloated, but then again he usually did. "What do you mean you don't feel your best?"

"I mean..." Adramelech paused as he searched for words. "I mean I'm feeling weird. Maybe it is because I'm no longer in Hell. I'm in this weird... in-between place. It is barely a Low Place. Maybe being behind this reality wallpaper is just a weird place for me, like altitude sickness. I mean I'm feeling strange, that's all," said Adramelech. He pointed a finger at me, "I told Meresin to fuck off and I'll tell you to fuck off, too. God put me here, Azazel, and I'm not moving."

"I didn't ask you to move," I said carefully. "I didn't even get to say hello."

"Oh--well, hello," said Adramelech grumpily. He lifted up his sunglasses briefly. Our eyes met. We looked so similar yet so different. I could see myself in him. Yet we were so such different Devils entirely. I could also see things in him I couldn't recognize in myself--new things. We acknowledged one another and I attempted to gather my thoughts. "To what do I owe this honor?" Adramelech asked, a tad more politely. Then, he slouched back into his inner tube.

"Well, that's better. A few things, actually. First order of business: it has come to my attention that we... er, at least... you and I... are vying for the affections of the same... uh, human."

"Wendy?" asked Adramelech.

"Yep, that's the one," I said cheerfully.

"Well you can fuck off entirely," said Adramelech, disgustingly adjusting himself in front of me in his swimming trucks.

"Second order of business," I moved on, "You better take care of your health. That's my advice. There is a virus going around causing angels to become fallen angels, like our old pal, Sachiel. I did some research with the help of brother Raum and come to find out... Sachiel isn't the only one. There's been a bunch of new angels added to our end of the family. According to Raum-- who had some kind of revelation or something, some sort of "gates" are open and now's a good time to become redeemed. He redeemed himself, somehow. He's officially on the 'good-guys' team. Raum is no longer a fallen angel-- can confirm."