Stray Kids Imagines

Regrets~ Felix

YOUR POV
Sitting alone at home was now your least favorite thing to do. When you are alone, you think, a lot. When thinking a lot, you get carried away, bringing in memories of the past or memories that hurt. Today you couldn't help as the constant thought of your boyfriend, Felix, came to mind. You thought about the day you met, your first date with him, your first kiss, and even the I love you's. Then your thoughts came to today, specifically, the death threat you received today.

You don't even know how they found your social media. Yeah, you and Felix were public, but all your social media accounts had no direct link to Felix, just in case something like this would happen. However, this fan was beyond determined and somehow found your Instagram. You sat there, staring at the message for hours, just crying at the words they sent you.

'Brake up with Felix right now you whore! You are not good enough for him and you're beyond ugly. He deserves someone better, pretty, skinner, and talented. If you don't do it, I'll find out where you live, where your family lives, kill them, and then I'll kill you with my bare hands.'

You read it over and over, and over again until it was stuck in your head. You knew what dating Felix would bring into your life, and you accepted it, you just never expected it to get this far. You just couldn't do it anymore, it was getting too far. After thinking for what felt like years, you decided to do what was best for you and tell Felix you wanted to end things.

It wasn't even just because of what the person said, a part of you believed it yourself. You were insecure in the relationship, and a part of it was from not loving yourself first before you allowed someone else to love you. Felix always reassured you that there was nothing wrong with you and that you were beyond perfect for him, but it was his words against thousands, and your own.

You couldn't do this anymore, you didn't want to rip yourself apart just to be in a relationship with him. Right at that point, you hear the front door open and hear Felix's voice ring through the apartment.

"(Y/N), baby, I'm home."  He says and you hear him lock the door behind him. Your nerves were already starting to form at the sound of his sweet voice.

"I'm in the living room." You yell out to him casually. He walks in with a smile on his face, obviously happy to see you, and places a kiss on your forehead.

"I'm super hungry. I'm gonna make some jjamppong, you want some?" He asks you as he walks toward the kitchen which was adjacent to the living room. You don't reply, not even knowing what to say. There were so many thoughts running through your mind that you couldn't even mutter a simple sentence. You feared that you might say the one thing you wanted to, just at the wrong time.

You glance at your phone again, as if it was helping your current situation, and sighed. You knew what you had to do to make yourself feel free. You get up and make your way to the spot Felix was standing in the kitchen. He had put a pot of hot water on and stove and just turned it on.

"Felix." You say as you approach him in the kitchen. He begins to open a pack of noodles and gather some of the spices from the cabinet.

"Yeah?" He asks, his eyes not meeting yours.

"I need to tell you something." You say as you stand next to him by the counter now. His eyes drag up to you, taking in your small figure compared to his.

"What is it? You can tell me anything." He says then smiles at you. Staring at him, wide-eyed, you examined his features. His freckles, his beautiful brown eyes, his long lashes, and the bright smile you loved so much. You hated to do this, but it just didn't feel right with you anymore to put yourself through something you could be handle. As much as you loved him, you couldn't take the hate anymore.

"I'm trying, I'm really trying Felix, but don't think I can do this anymore." You immediately blurt out to him. His smile drops as he soaks in the words you just said. He turns his body straight to face you, seeing your face clearly and being able to make out some tear stains.

He brings his fingers to grab your chin, tilting your face towards him so he can examine you more. He knew how to read your expressions, but he wasn't able to make them out this time.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I think we should break up." You tell him a small sob escaping your mouth. You were trying so hard not to cry, but the looks on his face were pushing you to. He arches an eyebrow, not understanding you.

"No, don't say that (Y/N). What is it? We can fix it." You weren't sure if you should tell him the truth or lie. You didn't want him to be mad or disappointed in STAY for what they said. You just decided to lie.

"I'm just not good enough for you and... I think it would just be better if we ended things now before we get ahead of ourselves." You pull your face from his fingers and look down at your feet, a flash of guilt and sadness coming over you. He tried to grab your face again but you flinch away from him, a sadder look appearing on his face.

"Why would you even say things like that? You know it's not true."

"It is true Felix, I -just don't want to go any further with you if it's going to hurt me." Your words soak into his head and he froze. He didn't move or make a single sound. His eyes were still on you, contemplating if he should say all the thoughts coming into his head to make you stay with him.

He couldn't say anything though, no matter how bad he wanted to. He was shocked that you even said these things to him. It made him question everything he had put into the relationship, wondering if he had been the problem.

You weren't sure what to do. Should you touch him? Try to get him to say something? No, you shouldn't. You knew the second you opened your mouth, you'd cry an endless stream of tears. You couldn't stay and watch him slowly break down in front of you.

"I'm sorry... I'm going to go now." You mutter out before stepping out of the kitchen and going to grab your stuff to leave. He didn't even move, not an inch. He stood there still, not even looking in your new direction, as if he was frozen in place. What were you expecting though? For him to beg you not to leave?

You turn around to go to put your shoes on and grab your jacket. You stand in the middle of the living room, staring into the kitchen to see if he would still say something to you.

But no, there he was, in the same position he was standing in when you told him the news a few moments ago. He hadn't moved at all and you knew he wouldn't. You don't say a word or make a single sound. You just walked up to the front door, and hesitantly grabbed the doorknob to leave.