heal// 5SOS

35

tw/ psych ward, self harm
Sage

"You can go,"

"What do you mean?"

"To the car, or home. You can go," I said.

"I'm gonna stay,"

I looked at Luke, then back to my scruffy vans that looked even worse against the crisp white floor.

The radio hummed quietly by the reception, and I could hear the typing because the silence between Luke and I was striking. I didn't know what to say, and he didn't know what to say.

My heart beat really fast, and I gripped the handles of the bag I had brought which shook everytime my leg did.

"Sage, it's good to see you,"

I looked up at Mark and then back down, Luke giving my shoulder a squeeze.

"Dr Fahri is stuck a few minutes behind, but I thought we could go into his office and have a chat,"

"Yeah,"

"I'm Mark,"

"Luke," he said, "Do I wait here, or go?"

"You can wait here if you want, we will probably be chatting for a while. If you want to go we can give you a call,"

"I will go and stock up on some things from the pharmacy and come back. Is that okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded, giving him a hug, "I'm okay,"

He grabbed his things and left, Mark putting his hand on my back to lead us to the office. I sat down and took a water bottle from him, then I took the blanket off the top of the sofa and sat under it.

"Are you okay?"

I shrugged and avoided his eye contact, fiddling with a loose thread.

"It's okay to not be," he said quietly, sitting the other end of the sofa, "We are here for you,"

"I know,"

"I'm really sorry about the accident, are you okay injury wise?"

"Yeah I just got concussion,"

"How are Rider and Gia?"

"Gia has whiplash, Rider had surgery on his arm and might have an infection,"

"How have you been feeling about that?"

"Shit, obviously. I should've been in the backseat to protect him,"

"You had no way of knowing this would all happen, you are not responsible at all for this, and you couldn't have changed a thing. Okay, Sage?"

"I still think it,"

"Why?"

"I just do,"

"You can't possibly be there with Rider to protect him at every moment, and Rider will not want you to because he wants you to have fun, and worry about yourself. Your dad is who worries,"

"Yeah, well he isn't here right now,"

"And Luke is. He will look after them,"

"This is all bullshit,"

"Sage," he said firmly, "As much as it sucks to realise, you have to understand you could not have changed this because nobody knew it would happen. Rider is in good hands, and he will recover. He loves you, and he would never expect you to change things like this,"

"Crap,"

"What?"

"I never thought that he doesn't expect me to change things or protect him,"