heal// 5SOS

48

Sage

"Sage!" Rider shrieked, "Gia! I'm coming home,"

"I'm so excited," Gia said, hugging him, "I hate sleeping in our room alone,"

"I miss my bed,"

"We can colour together again,"

"I'm going back to school,"

"I know, I can't wait,"

"Dad," I said quietly, sitting beside him, "I miss you,"

"I miss you too, how was school?"

"It was okay,"

"Do you need anything?"

"No,"

"Okay... what did you get up to?"

"Just lessons,"

"Was it good to see your friends?"

"Yeah. When can you come home?"

"Hopefully in a day or two. I feel much better and can walk around a bit now. I can even go to the toilet,"

"They took that thing out?"

"Yeah,"

"Oh. How did you get food?"

"I had a feeding tube. I'm okay now though darling, I don't want you to worry about me,"

"I am,"

"Please don't, I will be just fine. Needing a bit of help is okay,"

I nodded and hugged him, closing my eyes. He felt smaller, and stiffer- I hated it.

Someone had ruined everything I had finally settled with and I was struggling with the idea that we might have to start all over again.

But, he was still dad, I hoped, so we would make it work.

"Michael, you came?" Rider gasped.

"Hiya dude. I heard that you were a bit scared to go in the car, and you and your dad were gonna do it together, so I thought I could sit with you instead because he has to stay,"

"You'd do that?"

"Of course I would!"

"Thank you. I'm really happy because I can live with my family again,"

"That is awesome huh? Shall we go and get a drink and get in the car?"

"Okay,"

"Do you guys want anything?"

Luke wanted a coffee, Gia the wanted a hot chocolate, but I was fine and wasn't even thinking about it right now.

"And how was your day, angel?"

"Good, but it will be better tomorrow. How was your day?"

"The same, but I feel much better and will be home soon,

"You promise?"

"No, but I hope. Luke, what about you? Do you need any help? My mum can bring round things, she loves to cook,"

"I would like that," he said, yawning; under this lighting he looked exhausted. I'd never seen him like this, and now I understood what Gia was talking about.

"Can you two give us a minute?"

"Cal, it's okay,"

"No, I need a Luke hug,"

"They are really good," I said, taking Gia's hand, "Let's find the water cooler for dad,"

She took his plastic cup and we left, walking down the corridor to the water cooler. We filled it, and she began to head back, but I held her shoulder and slowed her down.

Instead, I took us to the seats that sat opposite dad's room and we sat together, her legs swinging. Neither of us were a fan of this place and it probably showed.

She took a sip of his water and then curled up on the seat, her tummy rumbling.

"Did you not have a snack?"

"We have no more. Luke needs to shop,"

"Oh, okay. I will make sure we go,"

"Can I use your phone?"

"Why?"

"To text Ashton,"

I passed it over in exchange for the water, then shut my eyes and leant my head back against the wall.

School had exhausted me.

And this was all exhausting me.

"Gia, we are gonna go to the car and wait while Sage talks to dad quickly,"

"I wanna say goodbye,"

Luke held the door open and she ran in to hug him, then linked arms with Luke, so I shut the door.

Dad pat the space beside him, hardly giving me chance to sit down before hugging me tightly, my head to his chest.

"Luke told me you're going to see another therapist, as well as Dr Fahri?"

"Er- yeah,"

"How come?"

"She- um, it's erm... she helps people,"

"Mhm," he said, pulling back to look at me, "But how come you're not just going to see Dr Fahri?"

"She specialises in other things, and he thinks it will help,"

"Okay,"

"Okay?"

"Yeah... you don't seem ready to share this part of your life with me and that's okay,"

"I was gonna,"

"Okay, I am listening,"

"No, I can't now,"

He furrowed his eyebrows and I covered my face, sighing.

"She is a therapist for people who have been through sexual harassment and assault, and all of that kind of thing,"

"Oh darling, I am so sorry you had to go through that, and I am so proud of you for seeking the right support,"

"But I feel so ashamed,"

"It is not your fault,"

I looked up with teary eyes and smiled- it was so good to hear my dad say that. He was nothing like my old dad.

"I love you,"

"I love you too kiddo, I love you no matter what. And if you want me to come to those sessions because you're worried, or scared, then I will come with no judgement,"

"I think I would like that, actually. It's really hard to talk about,"

"Okay. I will come and go as you please, because I just want you to feel safe, and loved,"

"This is an advancement on happy and healthy,"

"Hey," he laughed, drying his own eyes, "Sorry. It makes me upset to hear about my kids getting hurt,"

"You're the best dad in the whole world,"

"Well you're the best teenage kid,"

I giggled and sniffed, letting his warmth surround me in a hug.

"Thank you for believing me too. I really fucking love not being taken as a joke by people anymore,"