heal// 5SOS

38

Luke

"Careful,"

"Sorry,"

"You're alright," I smiled, readjusting the pan that Rory just knocked, "This is your favourite huh?"

"Yes. I love bolognese a lot. I really hope this tastes nice, dad has been teaching me how to cook and I really want to impress him,"

"I'm sure it will taste great,"

"I start school on Monday so I want make sure he thinks highly of me because school is really hard and when he gets disappointed, it will have to fall from a high standard so it won't be as low as if I did nothing,"

I stirred the food and turned to him, smiling sympathetically.

"That does make sense, however, it is not the kind of person Ashton is. He will support you with your education, and he will be proud,"

"Maybe,"

"Are you anxious about school?"

"Yeah. But I have pretended to be excited,"

"You should talk to your dad about it, dude. Maybe then you will get some sleep and reassurance,"

"Okay,"

"You've got this. It's a fresh start after all your hard work,"

"I'm not good at first impressions,"

"Well, we all like you," I smiled, "Sage seems to love school, so hopefully you will too. You should talk to your dad though, he will listen,"

"I know, he just seems so excited about me going,"

"He is, but he will listen and understand how you're feeling,"

He nodded and got the plates out, prompting Gia and Ashton to set the table; they got us drinks and then we sat together to eat.

Being with Ash was nice, and it wasn't often I came to his house. In the week I either had the kids or spent evenings alone, and on weekends I pretty much did the same unless there was an occasion.

"Ashton, please can I come here on Monday? I don't want to go to school,"

"You may,"

"Thank you,"

"Then you can see how you feel on Tuesday,"

"No,"

"No what?"

"Well I am not going back until dad is better,"

"That might take a few weeks, darling, and you cannot miss all of that school,"

"Yes I can,"

"No, you can't. You need to learn!"

"No, I can't!" she shouted, pushing her food away before leaving the table to stomp upstairs.

Ash squeezed Rory's shoulder and sighed, continuing to eat.

"She just needs a moment to herself,"

It hadn't crossed my mind that she might struggle to go to school. Was she expecting to spend everyday at home with me? Or at hospital with Cal?

We could talk about this, and go though the motions, but we had to live a normal life because nobody knew when Cal might wake up. Or if he would.

He would be so upset that he had caused all of this panic, and really take it to heart when none of it was his fault, so it would crush him to know his kids hid in their rooms and saw no one.

School would be good for Gia for she would be distracted and get to be with people her age.

"Did she not like my food?"

"Your food is delicious, she was upset about the conversation,"

"Well you didn't make me go to school, dad. Why can't she stay off?"

"You're working at home, and Luke cannot get all the time off if it lasts a while,"

"What if he wakes up tomorrow?"

"Then we would be thrilled,"

The doorbell rang and we furrowed her eyebrows, but Rory grinned and got up. He went, and came back with Michael, pulling him to the kitchen.

"Hello?" Ashton said.

"He's trying my food,"

"Oh, okay,"

"I am gonna go and play a game with Gia,"

Rory ran off upstairs and Michael took his place, awkwardly smiling.

"Sorry... he said it was okay,"

"It's fine, I think we could do with each others company. He cooked so he got excited, and I will take any happiness I get from him,"

"Is he not adjusting yet?"

"He is, and his medication is starting to help I think, but I'm just a bit worried with the Calum and Sage situation that he might get thrown off. The medication he's on is gradually being increased, and he's had some side effects like weight gain, and nausea... he's just going through so much,"

"Coming to a new home will be really hard, but you're doing amazing"

"That hospital is basically his second home, he has spent a long time in there throughout his life... being here and knowing hes staying is weird,"

"Probably cos he is older too," I said, putting my cutlery down, "I know Sage found it a lot harder than Rider to adjust,"

"How is Sage?" Mike said, "They went back, didn't they?"

"They seemed to be okay with it, but obviously they're not in a good place. I don't... I don't really know,"

"You're doing a great job mate,"

Ash gave me a firm nod and I rested my hand on my chin, twisting my lips.

It was quiet without Cal. A part of us was missing and it made us an incomplete puzzle. Without one of the parts we didn't make sense or fulfil a purpose.

And it felt like it had been so long when it had only been a day. One day. We were already breaking.

I could see the tiredness in Ashton's eyes, and Michael was bouncing his knee like crazy, the table being knocked every so often.

"I hope he wakes up soon," Mike mumbled.

"Do you think he will?" I asked, "You guys know more than me,"

"I think his body will appreciate the rest, but I don't think he will be in it for a long time... there's nothing that required surgery of any kind and he should hopefully wake up with all functions... we just never know,"

"If he can't work he will be crushed," I sighed, looking over at Mike.

"Well, all I am saying is, we have to prepare for the worst. Not because it will definitely happen, but because it might, and I am not letting their family crumble,"