Red ~ TWD (Daryl Dixon)

The Baby Shower

"Do you know what this is about?"

I glanced at Deadpool, shrugging.  "No idea."

She hummed, cracking her knuckles as we made our way to Gabby's church.  Alexandria was buzzing with activity as people milled about the bustling community.  The sun shone bright in the clear, blue sky, the warmth helping to ease some of the tension in my body.

Deadpool and I officially entered our third trimester yesterday, not that the ninja looked it.  I, on the other hand, looked ready to birth a litter at any moment.  Every time I walked into a room everyone held their breath, watching for any sign I was in labor.  I didn't have the heart to tell them the entire community would know the moment the first contraction hit.  I wasn't known for my subtly, and I was positive childbirth would be no exception.

"Are you armed?"

"Of course."  I lifted the back of my shirt, showing her the handgun stuffed in the back of my pants.  "You?"

She checked to make sure no one was looking then lifted her left pant leg, showing me a wicked set of knives strapped to her ankle.

"How the hell do you plan on bending over if the situation calls for it?"  Her steps faltered, and I rolled my eyes.  I hadn't been able to see my feet for six months, but Deadpool had only recently joined me on an episode of my 600 pound life.  So far she hadn't adjusted to her new reality.  "Here."

I pulled my backup weapon out of the pouch in my sweatshirt, handing it to her.  She raised a single eyebrow that looked a lot like her baby daddy's, and I snorted.  "So, couples who live together do start to look alike."

"Shut up," she laughed, taking the weapon and hiding it under her shirt.  "I'm assuming Sid gave you the no weapons talk?"

"Oh yeah, about seven months ago."  He'd even been nice enough to make a sign just for me.  The prick. 

"What do you think that's about?"

"Something about pregnant women being too emotional or some bullshit."  In truth, Sid had 100 different reasons why he didn't want us armed, none of which I considered valid.  In my opinion there was no question that an arsenal couldn't answer.  "I think he's just worried I'll try to stab him again."

"Again?" she asked.

I waved her off, "He's just being sensitive.  The knife was nowhere near his head."

She hummed in agreement.  "He made you get on the scale again, didn't he?"

"He tried."

Once I started closing in on 200 pounds on this journey called pregnancy I refused any additional weight checks.  Sid insisted they were crucial to ensuring the babies were in good health, and gaining weight as they should.  I insisted he'd get a knife to the eye if he pushed the issue.  The "discussion" ended with Daryl carrying me out of the clinic.  Based on the muscle relaxers he was forced to take the week after I'd say the babies were gaining weight like heavy weight fighters.

"Oh good, Michonne and Alex are here!" Tara announced far too loudly, smiling like a crazy person.  "Good to see you guys."

"What's wrong with you?" Deadpool inquired.

"Me?  Nothing, why do you ask?"

I narrowed my eyes, "You're not blinking."

She laughed like a hyena, grabbing our hands and dragging us behind her.

"Bet you're glad we're armed now, huh?" I whispered to Deadpool.

"What?" Tara asked, turning to me slightly.