Red ~ TWD (Daryl Dixon)

Too Late To Apologize

At some point Rick picked me up off the ground, carrying me to the car as he spoke in hushed tones over the top of my head about needing to get out of here. I stopped crying a while ago. More because I didn't have any fluid left in my body than because the hurt had ebbed. If anything it only intensified with each passing minute. My physical wounds hardly registered at this point. It was the emotional damage I couldn't handle. It felt like my heart stepped on a Lego with no shoes on. Sadly, I knew this wasn't something you simply got over. There was no coming back from this. Sure, the sun would rise and set tomorrow, but nothing would ever be the same.

Rick gently sat me in the backseat of the car, taking my face in his hands. His lips moved, but his voice sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher, "wah, wah, wah". I scrunched my face up in confusion, his own softening in understanding and sympathy. If anyone knew how I felt it was him. He gave me a half smile that didn't reach his eyes as he tucked my legs into the car and shut the door.

Suddenly Maggie was beside me, clutching my cold hand in her warm one. I hadn't heard her get in, couldn't hear much of anything except an incessant ringing in my ears. She didn't talk and I was glad. I was in no state to hold even the most basic of conversations. She just sat beside me, her hand solid in mine, a silent show of support that kept me grounded. I could practically feel her need to fix this and wanted to laugh. Love it or hate it the Greene family was chalked full of fixers. It was in their DNA. If something was hurt Hershel stitched it up. Whenever you felt incredible sadness you could count on Beth's angelic voice to lift your spirits, if only temporarily. The moment you felt hopelessness bubble in your gut Maggie would appear like an apparition, giving you a reason to believe again. This must be killing her. Unfortunately, unless she had Daryl stashed in her back pocket there was no fixing this one.

Glenn climbed in beside her as Rick got behind the wheel, Deadpool upfront with Glenn's gun inconspicuously pointing at her back. She may have gotten to ride shotgun, but one wrong move would cost her a bullet to the spinal cord. No amount of legroom was worth that risk.

The exhaustion tugging at me was too powerful to ignore. I leaned my head against the window as Rick pulled away, the shapes and colors of the outside world turning into nothing but a blur as I let my eyes close. I don't remember falling asleep, but the next thing I knew the car was stopped. The huge, gray concrete walls outside the prison making me cringe. I didn't want to be here, back where Daryl and I had lived together, but if I was honest I didn't want to be anywhere. The prison, the road, abandoned houses, it all reminded me of him. Everything in this world was tainted by his presence, and I knew it would haunt me for the rest of my life. The door opened and I looked up at Rick who waited for me to step out of the car on my own. When I didn't move he only merely nodded.

"Glenn, help me," he shouted, grabbing an arm and pulling me out. Glenn rounded the car, throwing my other arm over his shoulder. "Maggie get the door!"

There was a flurry of activity as Maggie raced forward, opening the door and shouting. Deadpool obediently walked beside us, making sure to keep her hands visible and movements deliberate without being told. She genuinely wanted to stay here so I didn't think she would try anything.

The guys helped me up the stairs and into the man cave. There was a flurry of activity as people moved in every direction, calling out instructions, asking questions, and in the background there was a baby crying. Nugget. I'd forgotten about Nugget. My heart seized at the sound of the wailing infant, a loud reminder the world was still turning despite my desire to step off the ride.

"Hershel!" Rick yelled dragging me into Cellblock C as I moaned in pain.

My physical wounds may pale in comparison to my physical one's, but there was no denying I was supremely fucked up.