Red ~ TWD (Daryl Dixon)

Let's Make a Deal

"Nice necklace."  Ariel swallowed hard, self-consciously tucking the jewelry into his shirt.  "Did she give it to you before or after you broke up with her?"

"I didn't...I mean I haven't..."

I nodded unsympathetically.  "Quite the conundrum you got there big guy."

In truth I cared little about his relationship status, but watching the lumbering red-head squirm was the highlight of my day. 

"I just don't know what to say."

"Well, you could try I want to see other people."  His eyes got wide, and he looked around like Apocalypse Barbie might appear out of thin air.  "Or I need space, or it's me not you."

I wracked my brain for other excuses from He's Just Not That Into You, but came up empty.  I fell asleep 30-minutes into watching the chic flick with my sister. 

"Yeah," he agreed, "I could do that."

"Just remember, let her down easy."

The last thing we needed was an armed homicidal woman in hot pants roaming the community.  Deadpool sauntered down the stairs wearing a dreamy smile.  I leaned against the RV, crossing my arms over my chest with a grin.

"Someone looks happy."  She tried to scowl, but she was still riding her sex high so it didn't translate.  "So, was it everything you hoped it be?"

She sighed, biting her lip.  "It was..."

"Stop, I can't."  I put my hands over my ears.  "I tried, really, I did, but please don't.  I'm glad Rick finally got to jerk it where you twerk it, but I can't stomach the details."

She swatted my arm, laughing as the man in question stopped beside her.  The two gazed into each other's eyes each other like they were staring in their very own rom-com, and I ducked into the RV before I got hit with sex juices.  I plopped down on the couch, Daryl on one side, Ariel on the other.  My other half was peering into a bag at what appeared to be smashed dirt masquerading as food.

"What is that?"

He sniffed the contents.  "Some kind of cake shit."  It looked like shit alright.  "Want some?"

"No, I'm good swallowing my spit."

Ariel snorted, stretching out and taking up half the couch.  I rested my head on Daryl's shoulder, putting my legs in Ariel's lap.  He didn't protest, didn't seem to even notice.  He was focused on Maggie, or more accurately, Maggie's parasite.

Daryl absently stroked my arm as I tried to rest despite my brother-in-law's cringe worthy snores originating in the back bedroom.  I didn't know what we would find at Jesus' community, but we needed to be ready for a fight hence why Legolas, Ariel, Captain Hook and I were on the trip. 

Ariel leaned forward, my legs still firmly in his lap while he talked in hushed tones with Glenn. 

"Did he just ask something about pancakes?" I whispered to Daryl.  I felt him shrug, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

"Who the hell knows?"

The RV rocked back-and-forth while we drove, and lulled me close to sleep.  I snuggled into his side, hand curled around the edge of his jacket, just about to drift off into a REM cycle when Jesus started talking.

"How long have you two been married?"

Daryl stiffened under me, but I kept my eyes closed, feigning sleep. 

"What makes ya think we're married?"

The ring on my left hand.  The fact I was using him as a Pillow Pet.  Our little display of tonsil hockey back at the house.