Red ~ TWD (Daryl Dixon)

Come and Take It

"Poutin' ain't gonna change nothin'."

I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm not pouting. I'm expressing my displeasure in a non-violent way."

Daryl took a slow drag of his cigarette, studying me. "Uh-huh. So when ya hit Merle in the stomach earlier...?"

"Alright, I'm expressing my displeasure in a non-violent way now," I clarified.

I'd be the first to admit my shit needed work. I was handling today's practice run about as well as Nugget handled eating pureed peas. The only difference between my displeasure and hers was mine wasn't visible on the kitchen walls.

Truthfully, I was nervous and it scared me. Being nervous implied something was going to go wrong. If something went wrong Daryl would be out there, in front of a massive herd, and I would be stuck here with no way to help him. That didn't sit well with me.

"We're just gonna walk through the plan so these pussies don't freak out when the time comes."

Calling the these people pussies was an insult to vaginas. Those things could take a pounding. These people couldn't take a pounding of any kind.

"I know," I hummed, biting my lip to the point it started bleeding, again. "I'm just not used to being left behind."

I couldn't remember a plan that didn't have me in the center of the mayhem. Normally, I was the mayhem. It wasn't ego making my anxiety flare. It was the not knowing. My family, save a select few, would all be outside the compound with nothing but "pussies" to watch their back. The mere notion made bile churn uncomfortably in my stomach. For the millionth time since Rick asked me to stay behind I swallowed down the worry the decision elicited.

Daryl flicked his cigarette to the ground, stomping on it before stepping into my personal space. One large hand settled at my hip, drawing me closer, while the other gentle cupped the side of my face.

"Be back b'fore ya know it," he promised.

My stomach shifted uneasily. I'd been trying to dismiss the feeling of impending doom since it settled on my shoulders late last night. I hardly slept a wink, tossing and turning to the point the bed sheets were knotted around my legs by the time the first rays of the sun spilled through our tiny window. Daryl was right, this is just a dry run, working out the final logistics before the "big day", but it didn't feel like that. The problem was I don't know what it felt like so instead of voicing my irrational fears I balled them up and shoved them away. There was absolutely nothing I could do about it, whatever it was.

"Right." I attempted to smile causing Daryl to press his lips together in displeasure. He knew I was faking it. "Just promise me you'll be careful...that you'll be back." Unharmed I add silently, trying to conceal the shaking in my hands by curling them in his vest.

He smirked, that devilishly handsome look that did funny things to my heart. "Always."

"Say I promise."

He cradled my face with both hands, blue eyes penetrating. "I promise Red. I'll always come back to ya."

When his lips touched mine I felt like crying, unable to explain why this felt like a goodbye instead of a see you later. I pulled him closer, choking on a sob that got stuck in the back of throat. I would not cry. This was just a test run. Nothing was going to happen. He was going to be fine. Everyone was going to be fine. Maybe if I kept saying it I'd start believing it.

By the time he pulled back I'd halfway convinced myself today wasn't going to be the emotional equivalent of getting shit on by a bird. Daryl sighed heavily, not buying my fake optimism.