CMOL and Fearless

55

TW: mentions of abuse

I headed down the hallway of the building as if it was my second home. Arriving at the door with the number eight, I knocked and after hearing a reply, I entered.

Mr. Yoon greeted me and I sat down on a couch while he sat down in a chair.

"How are you doing? Last time we spoke you were starting to tell me a bit about what happened on Junsu's birthday. Would you like to continue or talk about something else?"

I thought for a moment.

"I was going to tell you last time but now I don't think I'm ready yet, maybe I'll wait until a better time."

"Sure. How about we talk about your manager. Is that okay?"

"Yes, that's better."

"How did he act around you guys?"

I composed my thoughts, thinking of the best way to answer.

"He liked to laugh at us and... when he got the slightest bit angry he would take it out on the members and I."

"He would make fun of you?"

"Yes, he would laugh at the situation we were in."

"And he beat you too?"

"Yes."

"Did you ever talk back to him or call him out?"

"Yes, but not often... he was scary when he got mad. And he got mad very easily."

"And what type of things would you say to him?"

"He was insulting my parents so I countered his statements."

"And how did he reply to that?"

"He got really mad when I yelled at him after he was insulting my parents..."

"Oh, you yelled at him?"

"Yes."

"Did you only yell at him because he mentioned your parents or would you of yelled at him if he said bad things about you?"

"I only spoke up because he was talking about my parents."

"Why did you not speak up for yourself?"

"Back then, I didn't have the courage to. I was too scared of him."

"Speaking up for yourself is just as important as speaking up for others."

"Yes, but in the situation I was in, I had no control over what happened to myself, but I could try and help the others as much as I could. And that helped me feel better."

"I understand how that might help. But taking care of yourself is very important. So you need to start putting yourself first a little more."

"I guess."

Later that day, the members and I joined together in the practice room and danced for an hour. We didn't want to overdo it but we had started practicing for twenty minutes and we had been slowly adding more time.

We stopped and ate some food that we had brought down. Sitting together on the practice room floor, we started a conversation.

Owen spoke

"You know what's funny? I actually thought that I was going to have a good experience as an idol. Those first three years were like a dream come true. I was so thankful I had joined the company. My mother was hesitant about my decision, but I felt like I had made the right choice and my mom was happy for me. I wonder what she's thinking now..."

"You had no way of knowing this would happen." I said.

"But it happened. It happened and now we have to deal with it. We will get past this." Our leader reassured.

We sat in silence for some time longer until Siwoo spoke.

"Can I have some of your drink?"

I smiled and passed him my bottle.

"We should probably go get ready now, our legal representative and Mr. Paek's attorney will be arriving in a little over an hour and we should look presentable." Our leader announced.

We all got up and I grabbed my dishes, Siwoo took one last gulp of juice and then closed the bottle and grabbed his own dishes.

I was not excited for the meeting, but I had a shower and got dressed in some nice pants and a white dress shirt nonetheless.

We were all ready early and waited in the living room for the two guests. I drank a glass of water and went to the sink to fill it up when there was a knock at the door.

The first to arrive was our legal representative. They reminded us once again that we did not have to meet the Defense attorney because of the type of crime and that if requested, the attorney would never contact us again. We thought about it again but stuck to our decision, we would make it clear to the attorney of our opinions and answer questions to clear some things up.

The attorney arrived not long after. He dressed in a similar styled suit as the last time we had seen him, this time grey with a black tie.

He gave us a smile and started by apologizing for his behaviour from last time.

Sitting down, he started his briefing

"This is the information I have gathered, am I correct? I want to make it clear that I am representing the defendant to get him a smaller sentence, at this point there is no way for him to get past this completely clean. If I pass any boundaries, I can see you have someone here to put me in my place."

I was confused by the difference in attitude he had from the last time, perhaps he really was just trying to do his job. Although, being Mr. Paek's attorney, I doubted it. That man surrounded himself with sketchy people. There was no way this attorney would willingly defend this case no matter how much he paid, unless they knew each other before this.

And even then, there was a short while where I thought Mr. Paek wouldn't be able to have a private attorney. I heard no one wanted to be his defence attorney. They didn't want to be associated him him.

"Your information is mostly correct, but you have some facts that are a bit off. The group would like to state that the videos should not be looked at for they may be confusing. It's best to look at the facts and the pictures gathered in the investigation report. This is definitive evidence such as photos of bruising and witness's statements."

"Is the group not close with one of the witnesses though?"

"There are plenty of witnesses in this case and there is nothing wrong with having a witness that is close with the victims." Our representative replied.

The conversation went on for some time. It lasted at least twenty minutes and I was tired when it ended. I didn't realize it would be so mentally straining.