CMOL and Fearless

37

Months passed and just like the ceo said, my manager would come and get me once or twice a week. I now slept on the couch every night, the thought of sleeping in my bed after what happened made me disgusted.

One day, my group and I were leaving the airport because we were doing some concerts in different places to perform our new songs.

Once again, the security guards did their best to make sure none of our fans who were a little over excited touched us but this time there were a lot more fans. I didn't know how this many fans even found out our destination time, it was possible they had been waiting for hours, only knowing the day we would be arriving. We didn't post our flight times or anything.

Crowds of fans surrounded us like a swarm of bees and I started feeling really nervous as the fans started closing in and I had less and less room separating me from them.

I pulled my hat a little lower, trying to cover my face. This was making me very uncomfortable.

A hand grabbed my arm and I immediately stopped. I pulled my arm out of the girl's grasp and then continued walking.

Another hand touched my right side, near the bottom of my rib cage.

I was back at the CEO's place, laying in his bed and I felt the bed dip and he sat down.

I blinked a few times, trying to stay in the moment. The ceo wasn't here, I was at the airport. I dropped to the ground. My breathing became difficult and I started shaking. I was choking, I couldn't breathe. I could hear my heartbeat become loud and I started sweating. I was having another panic attack.

I kept looking around, worried the ceo was there even though I knew he wasn't anywhere near here.

My vision blurred for a while and when I could finally see clearly, my fellow members were all around me with worried expressions.

There was silence, not a single fan said a word. I looked around to see Fans with expressions of worry and confusion.

One of the members helped me up and we started walking again, this time the fans stayed a safe distance away.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Our leader asked me.

I nodded.

"I'm fine, let's keep going."

We arrived at the interview on time and we quickly got ready and then sat down on the couches and chairs placed for us.

"Hello." The interviewer welcomed us.

"Hi." The members and I replied.

"I heard one of you got hurt at the airport. Iseul I heard it was, are you okay?"

I nodded.

"Yes, I'm okay, there is no need to worry."

"Well that's good, your fans are really concerned though."

"Anyway, you have come out with a new song, does this new song represent the concept for your coming album?"

"Well actually, the song was originally not going to be part of the album, but while we worked on the song more and more, we began to think it would be a great song for the album. So yes, it is now the main song for the album showing the concept, although it was first going to just be a single."

"You say you liked the song more and more while working on it, what exactly made you like it more then when you started it?"

"At first, It was going to be a song about love, but we didn't really like how the melody went with the lyrics and since we liked the melody we came up with more then the lyrics, we re-wrote the lyrics to match the melody. So now it's a song about life and family."

"Interesting. So the meaning is about life and family, could you explain that a little more?"

"Of course. So, the part in our song,

I know I can't stay by your side
but let me know when you're changing the tide.
I might not be as smart as you
but let me see what I can do.

I'll be at the top holding my hand out
And if you need help just know everything will workout.
Because I might not be as smart as you
But I can help people too.

Talks about helping an older sibling. They've been there for you while you grew up and you realize it's time to be there for them. Even though you don't really know how to help them or what to do, just being there and letting them know that you're there if they need help is good enough."

"That's a great message."

"Thank you."

We arrived at the hotel later that night. I was sharing a room with Junsu. There were two beds. I hadn't slept much in a bed in a long while, so I slept on the couch which wasn't as comfortable and there was less space to sleep.

In the morning, I was woken up to the other members coming into the hotel room.

"The ceo will call sometime this morning, we should all be in the same place when he calls." Our leader explained.

I went to have a shower and change into some clean clothes, as I walked back and sat on my bed, Zeke's phone rung.

He answered it and put it on speaker so we could all hear.

"Hello."

"Hey, you insufficient brats, you can't even go anywhere without articles being written out of worry for you? Iseul, get your shit together!"

"I'm sorry." I replied.

"I want you to head back tomorrow, you guys don't deserve a day off. You will start filming your music video the next day."

"Okay." We all replied.

Two days later we arrived at the place where we were going to film our music video for the next few days.

Our concept was a more dark one. We had already explained what types of outfits we thought would best match the music video and we were heading into the costume room to see what the stylists had come up with.

When we entered the room we were surprised to see the ceo. He was talking to one of the stylists and pointing at one of the outfits on the clothes rack.

"What's going on?" Zeke asked the ceo.

"I was here to look over what outfits your stylists have come up with, I didn't like any of them, so I had brought some clothes over so they could make new outfits that I would like. I just looked over the new outfits and they are much better." The man replied.

I raised my eyebrows for a moment in confusion, then walked over to the outfits, picking one out that said my name.

A cropped blue tank top and some black skinny jeans with rips in the knees. The shirt would barely cover half of my chest. There were chain bracelets and necklaces to match. Cropped shirts always made me uncomfortable.

I looked at the other outfits the other members would be wearing, other cropped shirts and almost see-through shirts with black or light blue skinny jeans.

Was he serious?

I was just about to say something, but our leader said something first.

"Don't you think the outfits are a little bit too much if we all wear outfits like this? What will our fans think?"

"Your fans won't care, they'd be happy to see your chests." Was his reply.

I clenched my teeth. This man, I'd love to punch him in the face.

I looked at our stylists.

Didn't they know this was wrong? This wasn't for the look of the music video, this was for the ceo, because this was what he wanted. He was sexualizing us.

They gave me a sad look and turned around to organize things.

We couldn't do anything about it.