Negan x reader

pt.12

Did I cry for a solid 20 minutes? Probably. Am I worried someone told Negan that I got out? Yup. But right now I just lay on the floor in a starfish position. Man this floor is dirty. Would it kill the guy to sweep once in a while? Not the point. I would lay on the bed but floor felt better. Now I'm just taking deep breaths. Fuck these passed few days have sucked. Found out my dad was still alive, that was fucked up. Even more fucked up was finding out I had a brother. And all this started because I wanted some damn mushrooms. I miss my little patch of land. No one to bother me. No one. . . No one to share my food with. No one to help me take care of the plants. No one to hold. How long had I been alone for now? It had to be a while right? Like a few years atleast. Yeah. That was fucked up too. I've lost everyone I loved. I never knew what happened to mom after the fall. Rick was never there. And my grandparents, the ones who raised me, they. . .

Someone knocks on the door and I snap out of it. "Hey darlin you decent?" Negan's asks through the door. "Yeah." I sigh not moving from my spot on the floor. He opens the door and looks at me. "You do know there's a perfectly good bed right there, right?" He jokes carefully taking a step tword me. "Floor comfy." I respond looking at the ceiling. Negan chuckles softly and sits on the couch. "You okay? I heard about your little adventure when I got back." Got back? That guy from outside told me he was here. "I thought I told you to just hang tight." "You did, but it got so stuffy in here. The air doesn't move." I explain sheepishly as I make myself sit up. Negan stares at me as I fix my skirt and I look up at him tilting my head. "Is something wrong?" I seemed to have knocked him out of some thought he was having. He shook his head and rubbed the back if his neck. "No, no, nothings wrong darling. Just got a little worried bout you is all. Can't have your visit here being a bad one can I?" A smile tugs at the corner of my mouth. "No, I guess you can't have that." I chuckle looking up at him.

"Do you feel better darling?" My heart almost turns to jelly hearing how many times he's called me darling. "Yeah, I think I'm feeling a bit better now." I smile up at him. Negan smiles back and I blush. What on earth is a man like him wanting with someone like me? I rest my head in his lap and just look at him. Studying his face. He reminded me of the anti hero in a fairytale story. I did always prefer the antagonist. He pets my head and smiles down at me. "Anyone ever tell you, you got the prettiest doe eyes they've ever seen?" I blush bright red and shake my head no looking down at the ground. Gently Negan takes his gloved hand and lifts my chin so that I'm looking at him. "Well then I'll tell you. (Y/n) you have the prettiest (e/c) doe eyes I've ever had the pleasure of looking into." I feel my heart melt into a puddle. I swear you could swim in it. His hazel eyes look into my soul and all I feel is safety. He looks down at me with a soft smile. "How about I spend the rest of the day, and night, with you darling. How does that sound?" He asks cupping my cheek. "I'd like that." Taking my hand Negan helps me up from the ground. His fingers intertwine  with mine and he takes us to the door. "Lets go get you some air." I look up at this man and then to the floor. "I'm right by your side. I promise." He reassures before kissing my forehead.

We step out of the room and into the hallway. "So what did you do today?" I ask holding Negan's arm and hand. "I just had to take care of some inventory darling. Nothing to worry your pretty head about." He explains vaguely. "You didn't go back to see Rick did you?" I ask softly. "No darling, another group. They owed me some items and weren't too keen on paying up." "Have you ever considered baking them a cake? You know you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar." I smile and Negan laughs. "You really are just a ray of hope aren't ya?" I look down at the my feet as we walk, feeling as if I said something stupid. "Hey, hey, (y/n), you're okay. I love the idea, I honestly do." Negan says obviously seeing how I felt. "It's just," he lets out a sigh. "It's just that people aren't always as good as they should be." There was a sadness in his voice. "The world now, well it's a dangerous place. It's dog eat dog out there." I look up at the  man holding my hand. What does he mean? I know the world wasn't all kind, but the way he phrased it. Had he done things in the past? We all have a past though. I squeeze his hand. There's a feeling tugging at me whenever I'm around him. I don't know quite know how to describe it though. It's like a calm, but also a panic? My heart beats fast whenever I think of him, but not in the usual panic attack way. I wonder how he feels when he's around me? Does he have this same weird feeling in his chest?

We reach the doors and start walking outside. It feels like we're the only two people out here. The sun was setting and there was a light breeze. I took a deep breath, the air wasn't as dry as before. You could smell the rain about to come. I leaned my head on Negan's shoulder and had a wave of calm wash over me. Feeling eyes on me I look up into Negan's eyes with a smile. He quickly went back to looking at where he was walking. That feeling came tugging at my chest again. I might not know what it is yet. But for now I'm just happy I have it.