Negan x reader

pt. 17

Trigger warning: mentions of nails digging into palms and swearing.

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I spent the rest of the night by myself. Well there was Rowan but he's not much of a conversationalist. Why was negan so cold today? Did I do something when I was drinking last night? Did I say something? A million thoughts go through my head as I watch Rowan sleep. I wanted to stay up to see when Negan would get back. "He's just busy." I sigh and stand up to stretch. I started walking around the room for my legs and thinking. Yesterday and literally everyday since we met he's been seemingly affectionate. But for some reason today he just had completely acted like I'm not even here. Something is going on, I just know it.

Negan's pov

The day was a fucking mess. There were issues with one of the groups that I get shit from. (Y/n) brought in a fucking bird. And all my wives were hung over. I had been so busy with (y/n) that I didn't even realize I hadn't had sex since they came here. I just needed to let of some steam so when Sherry was feeling well enough I did. Now I'm laying with her next to me. Something didn't feel right though. Usually my head is pretty clear after but now all I could here was (y/n)s voice. The memory of last night and them saying they loved me played over and over.

"I just don't want to be alone again."  "I love you." "Please stay..." "Don't go..." And today. . . Why was I so fucking rude to them?! "You've been busy all day." I felt my heart tug at me. Remembering those (e/c) doe eyes staring up at me as (y/n) was on their knees laying their head in my lap. I'm starting to do the things I told myself I wouldn't. I promised (y/n) I'd stay with them. It's gotta be almost early morning by now. Maybe I can just sneak in while their sleeping. Getting out of bed I start getting redressed and Sherry softly grabs my arm. "Where are you goin? It's late." "Back to my room, you get some sleep." I say as I finish getting dressed. As I start walking back to the room i start thinking of how I could explain everything to (y/n). There's a fuck ton to explain. (Y/n) doesn't even know the girls she's wanting to become friends with are my wives! "Shit." I mutter under my breath standing outside the bedroom door. Lights peeking out from under the door. "Fuck." I quietly open the door and see (y/n) walking around, basically pacing.

They turn and look at me with half teary eyes. I knew that look. That was the same look Lucille would give me when I would come home at 3 in the morning. Anger and sadness mixed with worry. "Did I do something wrong Negan?" My eyes widen as (y/n) asks that question. "What? No, no of corse not." "Then why the fuck have you been so god damn cold to me all day?!" They exclaim tears starting to fall from their face. That bird of theirs starting shuffling around and (y/n) quickly goes to calming it down. I was shocked hearing (y/n) yell like that. I went over and placed my hand on their shoulder. "Dont fucking touch me!" They yell quickly flinching away. I take my hand back and see an anger that replaced the anxious nature of the girl infront of me. "You don't get to fucking touch me. Not until you explain what the hell is going on. And even then I don't know how long it'll be before I let you touch me again." Theh explain and I stand there silent for a moment. "Fine. You want me to tell what's going on? You're not gonna like what's gonna be said." They tilt their head at me and I sit down.

Reader's pov9

Negan sat on the couch and I set Rowan down in his little nest. "I just need clarity." I sigh and while the tears from my face. Negan looked nervous as he sat. Seeing him in the lap light I could see him more clearly. His clothes her messed up, his hair was also slightly messed up along with faint marks on his neck. "Negan, what did you do today?" He adjusted his seating and looked up at me from the couch. "Look (y/n), I." He lets out a sigh and rubs the back of his neck. Then he explained how he was "Just tired and needed to clear his head." I can't help but just stand there. Why wasn't he just honest about having multiple wives? If he had just been honest I would have understood. Monogamy was just not something I ever thought about anyway. But the fact he never said anything. Took me out of my home. How many of the girls had he said the exact same things to? My nails must have been digging into my palms again because the only thing pulling me back was the wet feeling in my hand. I looked down and saw blood slowly dripping from my fist. "Darlin you're hand." Negan tries to help my but when I got close to me I ended up slapping him with my bleeding hand. "You don't get to call me darling. Not after lying to me, not after getting me to leave my home to come to this hell hole. And especially not after you left me, all damn day, to go hook up with someone." He looked shocked and I grabbed Rowan and walked out the door.

"(Y/n)!" Negan called out. I could hear him following me. "Leave me alone!" I shout back and start running. I ran till I was outside and hid behind a truck. The sunrise was just peaking over the hills. Holdinf Rowan in my arms I slide to the ground crying.