I Might Set Fire to This Later

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I don't know how to start this.

I guess the best way is to just start off with it.

Raising children is scary. Personally I don't like kids in the first place but people always say "people who don't like kids love their own" yeah. Ok but what about the people like me who would only have kids to take care of their parent? What about the parents who despise their kids because they are just a little bit too much like their parent?
It's not fair to them and I know that but I am a selfish person and I am too tired to change myself anymore.

I just want someone to have to myself who I can have around so I don't let myself waste away. I want someone who I HAVE to care about because I can't care for myself. I want someone to care for so in turn, while caring for them I may learn to care for myself.

But of course another thing is, I wouldn't want my kid to have my genetics or a fraction of my habits or a thought process like mine.

I don't know how I made it this far in life and it wouldn't be fair to them to grow up to think the same thing.