I Might Set Fire to This Later

⭐️ Wellthatsacrazystorey

(Not mine. See title)

What is low functioning depression?
If I had to describe it with one emotion, it would most definitely be...
*drum roll*

Apathy.
Yes apathy. The complete lack of giving a shit. When I hit the lowest of the low, I didn't feel a thing. I just didn't care about anything.
I actually came up with a little something during one of my brainstorms. I'm sure something like this has been said before, because it's a good way of describing what you feel like during that time in your life.
There's a gun in your room. You're aware it's there, you just don't care. Someone enters the room, you're aware they're there, you just don't care. They can either pick up the gun and leave, you're aware, you just don't care. They can leave the room, not touching anything. You're aware but you just don't care. They can pick up the gun and point it at you. You're aware, but you just don't care.
- WellThatsaCrazyStorey

I wish I could say I'm over egging it there. But alas, I've spoken to many people who have felt the same.
So...how can you help yourself at this point?
The problem with low functioning depression is that before you feel better, you feel worse. I know this sounds counter productive but it's a fairly important piece of advice.
A good way to know you are getting better is when you start crying again, feeling sadness again, feeling love again or, feeling anything again. Because it means you care again. You can cry, you can think clearly and you can actually have another thought in your head that isn't, I don't care.
Honestly, in my personal experience all of what I mentioned up there is better than feeling apathy. I remember crying for the first time in two months. Full. Blown. Ugly. Cry. Snot and all.
It lasted for about an hour and it felt amazing. I can't remember what it was over, I probably put my shoes on the wrong way or something. But I just remember feeling relief.