Behind The Pain (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 33

BTP KABANATA 33

"Sigurado ka na ba sa gagawin mo?" nag-aalalang tanong ni Kev.

I nodded. "Yeah... In order to move forward, I need to cut ties with the things that are holding me back from doing what I want to do."

He rushed to me to give me a tight hug. Kaagad akong napangiti.

"If you want to be fetched, call me. Isasama ko huong barkada para may support system ka," sabi niya na tinawanan ko.

"I can handle myself. Don't worry," I said.

Tumungo siya kaya naman lumabas na ako ng condo ko. I'm planning to meet up with Satan's mom today. Matagal ko na siyang gusto kausapin pero pinangungunahan ako ng takot... Pero alam ko na kung ano man ang sasabihin niya sa akin, kakayanin ko. 

Me: Good morning po. This is Vera Belmonte. I hope you can still recognize me. Let's meet at Cafe Classic. I'll wait.

Kabado ako habang papunta sa sinabi kong coffee shop. But the nervousness I'm feeling right now somehow excites me. Whatever Tita Fely's answer to my questions, I won't let her interface our life again.

Satan doesn't deserve to be manipulated. We don't deserve to be manipulated by people's opinions.

Hindi na ako umasa na darating si Tita Fely, pero may konti pa ring pag-asa sa akin na baka dumating nga siya. I arrived at the coffee shop without any trace of Tita Fely. Nevertheless, I ordered a drink and chose a seat.

I waited patiently until I saw her roaming around her eyes. Tumayo ako ng bahagyaa nang dumako ang tingin niya sa pwesto ko. Pumaway ako at ngumiti. It was a sincere smile. Her presence alone is already enough to make me feel grateful.

"Have a seat po," I said when she arrived at my table.

She nodded without saying anything.

"First of all, I'm very sorry po for my actions way back, for my immaturity," umpisa ko. "I also want to address the recent issues Satan and I got involved in. It's true that we were together at the time, but we were together to talk. He was actually with Celine," I continued.

She didn't say a word. Instead, she nodded.

Bumuntong-hininga ako para kumuha ng lakas ng loob. "Simula noon... hanggang ngayon, my love for your son never fade. In fact, seeing him this successful after leaving him... made me want to hug him and tell him that he did a great job."

"You didn't just leave," she finally spoke. "You also took my son's heart with you," she said, seriously. "He did become successful... but I saw how he felt like there's no reason for him to live. I didn't tell you to leave him!"

I bit my lip. I wanted to laugh and tell her that it was also her fault. Nakakatawa na bigla na lang niya napapansin ang anak niya. Satan lived his life without any love and comfort from his parents, from his mom. He wanted love so badly... and here's his mom, shouting at me for leaving him.

"It was also your fault..."

There I said it.

Halatang nagulat siya sa sinabi ko.

"Do you really know Satan? or your children?" mapait na tanong ko. "They were all nice people... but they felt pain in such a young age. Sabi mo noon na ayaw mo silang maging mahina dahil hindi para sa mga mahihina ang mundo ito... pero, Tita, have you seen them cry?" my voice almost cracked.

"O-Of course, I know them! They are my children. How dare you question me? And they don't cry because they are not weak!" she roared in anger.

I scoffed. "You haven't really seen Satan cry, huh? Mukha siyang bata na parang naliligaw kapag umiiyak. He wanted constant reassurance because you..." my voice broke. "You didn't give him that... For a long time, he was so afraid to love, kasi sabi niya hindi raw niya alam kung paano magmahal. He grew up in a household wherein they needed to study hard to deserve the slightest attention!"