Rewriting this song and keeping the original feel was... well, let's see if I did well😅
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"Picture it, arustic cabin... your latest kill roasting on the fire... adorable children running around us as your love... rubs your tired feet... It's a fantasy, it'll never happen."
Caine raised a brow. "Thank you, Andrew, for making that clear. Besides, you know I hardly love him. Does he appeal to me? Yes. Visually and his mentality."
Andrew laughed. "The fact he plays so hard to catch makes your game more intriguing. After all, the harder the prey is to catch, the better the victory is, as you say."
"But what does he say? 'I will never marry you, Cain'!" Dwayne quoted.
"You know, there are other guys. A great hunter doesn’t waste their time on rabbits," Andrew said.
She snorted. "What? Are you referring to yourself?"
"I'm referring to anyone but, you know who." He glanced at Dwayne.
Dwayne: Gosh it disturbs me
to see you, like this
Looking so down in the dumps
Every guy here’d
love to be your new groom
Even when taking your lumps
There’s no one in town
as admired as you
You’re everyone’s favorite gal
Everyone’s awed
and inspired by you
And it’s not very hard
to see why
All: No one’s slick as you are
No one’s quick as you are
No one’s neck’s as
incredibly thick as yours is
For there’s no one in town
half as stunning
Perfect, in everything
You can ask
any Pete, 'Drew, or Stanley
And they’ll tell you
whose team they prefer to be on
Who plays...
Darts like you do?
Who breaks
Hearts like you do?
Who’s much more than the sum
of her parts like, you do?
Caine: As a specimen,
yes, I’m intimidating
All: My, what a gal
Lady Caine
Caine: I needed encouragement
Thank you, you all
Dwayne: Well, there’s no one
as easy to bolster as you
"Too much?" Dwayne asked.
"Yes," Caine retorted.
All: No one fights like you do
Douses lights like you do
In a wrestling match
nobody bites like you do
Caine:When I hunt,
I sneak up with my quiver
And beasts of the field
say a prayer
First I carefully aim for the liver
Then I shoot from behind
"Is that fair?" Pete asked.
"I don’t care," Caine replied.
No one hits like you do
Matches wits like you do
In a spitting match
nobody spits like you do
I’m especially good
at expectorating
She spat into a pot three yards away.
"Ooh!" The crowd said in awe.
"Ten points for Miss Caine!
"Thank you. Thank you," she said.
The crowd cheered and clapped. Then Caine and some others stood up on the tables and Caine pretended to slash her foes.
All:Who has brains
Like you do?
Entertains
Like you do?
Who can make up
these endless refrains like you do?
Caine: I use antlers
in all of my decorating!
All:Say it again!
Who’s the best of the best?
Who’s a super success?
Don’t you know?
Can’t you guess?
Dwayne:Ask her fans
and her five hangers-on
There’s just one gal in town
who’s got all of it down
And her name’s, C-A- I think
I believe there’s another ‘A’
It just occurred to me
that I’m illiterate
And I’ve never actually had
to spell it out loud before
All:Lady Caine!
YOU ARE READING
The Alchemist And The Beast
FanfictionA Tangled Rewrite of Beauty and the Beast and Gender Swapped (as much as possible) Varian, a boy who lives in a simple town knows he's odd and different. Despite that, some people do have an interest in him, but he doesn't have an interest in them...
