toxic|chan

~three~

"The only reason I did this is because my mom begged me to. I got you the job and a place to stay, but it's up to you to keep it. I'm not holding your hand through it. If you can't keep up then it's on you, got it?" Chan questions harshly as he stands in front of me. I lower my head and nod embarrassed.

It's been close to six years since we last talked. It's all on me. I'm the one holding a grudge. He's holding a grudge against the fact that I'm still holding a grudge. He's fed up with my childish behavior and he has been for as long as I can remember. A childhood friendship can only go so far.

"Your room is over there. Our manager was kind enough to let you have it—on one condition—you can't date the other two. JiSung and ChangBin are off limits. Honestly—I don't see them falling for you anyway. You're selfish. You don't listen to others. You get mad over the stupidest of things. All of those things are enough to keep someone miles away from you—but there's always something that draws them in." Chan groans as he realizes he's just talking himself in circles. He knows better than anyone else how I am. He's dealt with me most of his life.

"Thanks." I sigh softly and grab my bag before heading toward my new room. Chan grabs my arm and tugs me back toward him.

"You're lucky we have history together or I'd have kicked you to the curb—we have a schedule early tomorrow morning. You need to be up and make sure all three of us are up by five. ChangBin and JiSung are kind of hard to wake up. I'll wake up the moment you open my door. Wake me up and I'll deal with them." Chan gives in and offers me an easy way out. He knows how easy it is for me to get frustrated when it doesn't go in my favor. The task of waking the two up is bound to be a challenge I struggle with. He's not looking out for me—he's looking out for his group mates.

I nod and break free of his grasp. I already cried in front of him once—I refuse to do it again. If I'm going to cry I'm going to do it in the confines of my own room. He won't come in without permission. None of them will. I slip into the room and toss my things aside. I don't care enough right now to put them away. I'd rather sit in silence while tears fall down my face. I give up my dream just to watch the one person who left me to achieve theirs, thrive under the spotlight. It isn't fair.

I lean back on the pillow and close my eyes tightly. I want to go home. It hasn't even been a full day and I'm already fed up. I have to play the part of a caring manager when in all reality I just want to kick all three of them in the knee a few times. They didn't have to work as hard as I did. They trained for a few years and debuted before I could even think of training. They've been in the spotlight for six years. I've barely seen what it looks like.

I hear the other two come into the apartment laughing and joking around. The moment they see Chan, they seem to stop. The apartment falls silent until Chan groans and storms off toward his room.

"What's his problem? He seemed happy she was coming before now he's an ass." ChangBin mumbles as he and JiSung fall down on the couch. One of them flips the tv on and the chatter once again fills the air.

"I feel like there's something going on between them. They obvious fought. Why else would he be moping around in his bedroom? He was talking about how he was going to take her shopping then later he was going to take her out to dinner—but they're here. Something clearly didn't go as he planned it would. I'm kinda curious what." JiSung sighs as he settles in to watch tv with ChangBin.

Chan was happy to see me? He didn't seem like it. He seemed annoyed. Is it my fault? Am I the reason he's mad? I'll admit—I wasn't the most welcoming of people—but he started it. He was the one banging on the door early in the morning. He's the one who made me cry—then made me go shopping when I didn't even feel like moving. Then he's the reason I had to sit at a photo shoot all day. Shouldn't I be the one who's mad?