toxic|chan

~six~

I toss and turn—the bedding itchy and uncomfortable. The scene from earlier plays through my head on repeat. I hate him. I hate him so much yet I can't stand him not being here. He said he was going to sleep with me. Where is he? I haven't heard a peep from the living room for over an hour. The other two have to be asleep by now.

I get to my feet and slowly make my way toward the door. I tug it open just a bit and peek out to make sure they're not awake. I slip out and shut the door before making my way towards Chan's room. I gently tap on it, not wanting to make too much noise. If I wake up the other two it won't end well. There's no response. I hesitantly open the door and step inside. I lower my head shyly as Chan groans and rolls onto his side to see me.

"Sum—I was supposed to come sleep with you. I'm sorry. I fell asleep waiting for the other two to go to bed. Come here—you can sleep with me." Chan tugs the blanket back and scoots over to make room for me. I stare down at my feet shyly. I can't seem to move. I rub at my arm and swallow hard.

"What's wrong?" Chang questions—his voice thick with sleep. He slowly sits up and pats his thighs for me to sit down.

"Come here—" Chan reaches out and manages to grab ahold of my wrist. He pulls me toward him and I fall into his lap. He wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head on my shoulder. I swallow hard the moment I feel something beneath me.

I want to push him away. I want to yell at him and tell him not to touch me, but I can't. No matter how mad I am at him for breaking his promise, I can't take it out on him. He was already exhausted after the photo shoot earlier. Then we had sex—so he was even more exhausted. I can't blame him for falling asleep—but the fact he's hard tells me he was having quite the dream.

"I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me." Chan whispers as he nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck. He places a few rough kisses along my throat.

"Channie?" I mumble as I place my hands on top of his.

"Hm? What's wrong, Baby Girl?" Chan hums as he pulls me as humanly close to him as he possibly can.

"You're—" I can't bring myself to finish the sentence. Of course he knows. How wouldn't he know?

"Ignore it—I can't help it. You woke me up in the middle of something—" Chan turns away embarrassed. He clears his throat lowly and loosens his grip on me.

"We should go to sleep. We have to be up in a few hours. I'm sure you didn't sleep at all—you can sleep on the ride there. We're all going the van together. It's about a two hour ride. Come on, lay down." Chan slides me off his lap and awkwardly lays back down. He rests his arm on the pillow and nods for me to lay down.

I hesitantly lay my head on his arm and he pulls me close. I close my eyes anxiously as I feel his breath on my neck. I can't help but focus on his groin pressed up against me. I know he has no control over it. I know if he could fix it he would—but he can't with me here.

"Chan—" I mumble hesitantly. I chew on my bottom lip as he places the blanket over me.

"Hm? What's wrong?" He whispers as he squirms a bit to get comfortable. He groans lowly as his groin rubs against me just right.

"Shit—I'm sorry." Chan pulls back and rolls over so his back is to me.

"Don't be—it's fine." I try to play it off as nothing, but in all reality it's not nothing.

"I'll be right back." Chan is quick to climb over me, but I grab his arm and tug him back.

"Make me mad." I state firmly and he stares down at me in shock.