toxic|chan

~eleven~

"You're the one who told me to do it." I mumble as I stare down at my feet. HyunJin is just beyond the door. He went to take a shower.

"I don't care what you do. I told you that. If you're happy then whatever. I have to go back to practice." Chan states as calmly as he can while scrolling through his phone.

"He's staying the night. I just—I didn't want to—I didn't want to go to you again." I admit as my heart threatens to beat right out of my chest.

"I don't care." Chan grabs his bag and heads straight for the door—his actions contradicting his words. He's clearly upset by it. He's mad, jealous, and frustrated. Every ill emotion someone can feel—he's feeling it.

I flinch as the door closes with a slam behind him. I slowly make my way back into my bedroom. I sit down on the edge of the bed. I hang my head and watch my hands tremble in my lap. Am I really doing the right thing?

"What's wrong, Love?" HyunJin questions as he slips out of the bathroom. I shake my head, unable to look at him.

"Hey—talk to me—let me help." HyunJin squats down in front of me. My heart stops the moment I notice his bare chest. His damp hair clings to his face and neck sending chills throughout my body. The sight of him is enough to make me cave in. He wouldn't even have to ask—I'd have sex with him right now if that's what he wanted.

"He—he got mad." I mumble as HyunJin cups my face. He forces me to look up and meet his gaze.

"Why? Why do you think he's mad? Do you think he's mad at you?" HyunJin tries to get more out of me—something I'm not used to doing.

"It's because I brought you here—I think. I don't know honestly. I'm confused. He told me to be happy—you make me happy—why is he mad?" I look to him for help. The logical reason for him to be mad is because I brought HyunJin here, but part of me feels like I'm missing something.

"What'd he say exactly? Did he make it seem like he was blaming you?" HyunJin does everything he can to help me decipher what happened despite him not being there.

"He said—he doesn't care. That he told me to be happy. Then when I told him you were staying the night because—I was scared of going back to him—he said he didn't care then stormed out." I explain as I reach out for his hand in need of some sort of emotional support.

"He's not mad at you. Don't beat yourself up over it. He's upset at himself. He's upset that he isn't the one you're with. Knowing that—now I don't want you alone with him. I don't know him. If I don't know him—I can't trust him." HyunJin—the kid who's never been overprotective of anyone but his dog—suddenly becomes a protective boyfriend.

"I'm sorry, Jinnie." I swallow hard as HyunJin lifts my hand to his lips. He kisses it softly before leaning in to kiss my forehead.

"What are you sorry about? Hm? You have nothing to be sorry about, Love. You're doing your best. If you have to stay here so you have a roof over your head it's alright. I trust you. I know that whatever decisions you make—they're what you feel is best for you in the moment. If something happens we'll just have to talk through it and figure things out." HyunJin reassures me as he gets to his feet and sits down next to me. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me toward him. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes.

His damp hair rests against mine. A cold drip of water hits my skin and I shiver. HyunJin chuckles as wipes the droplet off of my arm.

"You should go shower, Love. I'll stay here. I won't go anywhere." HyunJin insists as he pulls away. I shake my head and wrap my arms around him tightly. I bury my face in the crook of his neck and close my eyes.