America: 50☆Stars (Vol. 3)

Episode 49: Yankee Swap

A/N: A special shoutout to IsabellaSisler for helping me with this episode. Your assistance is very much appreciated. Anyway, continue reading as usual.

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It was beginning to look a lot like a White Christmas at Maine's house. The morning skies were foggy white. The pines trees were frosty white. And the snowflakes that fell were fluffy white. It was a washed-out winter wonderland. Such frightful, depressing weather paled in comparison to the delightful fire warming up the cabin. Woolen blankets were aplenty. Mugs of hot cocoa were ready. And the presents under the Christmas tree were waiting for unwrapping. It was a good time to open gifts—until they arrived on the snowy scene.

"It's a Christmas miracle we made it here unscathed," New York grumbled.

"Hey! I dealt with that moose like a boss," New Jersey bragged.

"That moose went fucking flying like it was one of Santa's reindeer!"

"Shut the fuck up! You would've done the same thing if you were in that position!"

"Yo! Merry Christmas, everybody!" Pennsylvania laughed loudly, unbothered by their argument. "Is that eggnog I smell? I like a glass of that, please!"

"Maine," Massachusetts muttered, "why did you invite them of all people?"

"I-I know they're not New Englanders, but I don't want them to feel left out on Christmas," Maine excused.

"Ham, I gonna need you to spike my eggnog."

"Masshole!"

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"Okay, everyone! Gather around!" Maine clapped her hands. "It's time for the gift exchange."

"How does this gift exchange work exactly?" Rhode Island asked, munching on a Christmas cookie on the couch.

"Didn't you read the message I sent to you about it?"

"No, I didn't bother to read it. Masshole threatened me to come here with a gift, or else he'd kill me."

"Masshole!"

"Quit calling me that!"

She sighed, "Very well. I'll explain it again. Everyone has a gift to give, yes?"

"Uh-huh." Vermont nodded.

After a quick recount of the presents placed around the Christmas tree, Maine brought out a black top hat and placed it on a rustic coffee table. "Inside this hat, I've written everyone's names on slips of paper. We'll give our gift to whoever we pull out of the hat, and whoever gets picked will then have their turn to pick a name out of the hat. Sounds good?"

"What if we draw our name from the hat? Do we get to keep our gift? That'll be a godsend."

"Uh, no. You redraw for a name that isn't yours. Any more questions?"

"Can we exchange our gift with someone else if we don't like what we're given?"

"Um, I don't think so? It kinda defeats the purpose of a gift exchange."

"But technically, it counts as a gift exchange since we're still exchanging gifts with someone."

"Won't that hurt the gift provider's feelings?"

"I don't give a fuck. I'm not keeping something I don't like or never going to use."

"T-That's—"