America: 50☆Stars (Vol. 3)

Episode 46: Bear Wrestling

It was the '70s. The basketball was red, white, and blue. The players wore giant afros, tight-fitting jerseys, and shorts that showed their lanky thighs. And the game was played at a faster and more flashy pace that eventually caught onto the NBA after the merger. Until then, the ABA (American Basketball Association) struggled to financially operate as a lively semi-professional basketball league without a national television contract.

Contrary to being a mediocre team of the modern NBA, the Indiana Pacers were a successful dynasty that had won three championships. But like the other ABA teams, they had difficulty drawing large attendance numbers despite the talent of their star players. Desperate to attract fans, the Pacers thought of something wild and wacky for a special halftime show.

It was certainly no cow-milking contest.

"Ladies and gentlemen," spoke the announcer, "tonight's halftime show will be performed by the one and only Victor the Wrestling Bear against a selection of opponents! If time permits, Victor will also wrestle with volunteers from the crowd."

Over eight thousand attendees set their sights on the enclosed wrestling ring that had been wheeled to the center of the basketball court. Inside the cage was a full-grown male Alaskan brown bear. To the surprise of some people, the bear appeared relatively tame. They awed, watching the bear drink a bottle of Coca-Cola while the referee fitted on his muzzle. Of course, Victor was not at all harmless. He weighed 650 lbs (roughly 295 kg) and could stand at 8 ft (roughly 244 cm) tall if he felt like sizing up his opponents. Indeed, the event was set up for Victor to face a bunch of professional wrestlers and local media personalities. It might sound unfair for the bear. Rest assured, Victor was a professional wrestling bear. He had been doing this for over fifteen years. According to his trainer, Victor never lost once after performing in 10,000+ matches. It might be an exaggeration, but it definitely wasn't easy to disprove for anyone wanting to beat an undefeated force of nature.

"Okay..." The wrestler smiled sheepishly at the bear in the wrestling ring with him. "All I have to do is pin it on its back. That won't be hard to do, yeah?"

The bell rang to begin the match. The wrestler cautiously approached Victor, unsure how the bear would react to him. So far, the bear appeared indifferent to the human opponent, not at all hostile. That changed when the wrestler attempted to wrap his arms around the bear's head and neck. Before the wrestler could attempt to force him down, Victor shook his arms off him and pushed him onto the mat, getting a laugh out of spectators. Suddenly, the wrestler was on his back. Victor was all over him, unable to get their jaws on their opponent with the leather muzzle on its snout. All they could do was torment them with their stinky breath, sticky saliva, and relentless licks with their long pink tongue. The wrestler rolled around the ground, unable to get up and get away from the smelly bear without the referee's assistance. Without contention, round one went to Victor the Wrestling Bear.

"Er, that's okay. I'm just getting warmed up. I know what to expect now," the wrestler muttered to reassure himself of that embarrassing display.

Once he was ready to go, the referee released their grip on Victor's collar, letting the match continue for round two. Once again, the wrestler attempted to lock his arms around the thicker part of the bear's neck. But once again, Victor didn't let him have his way. The wrestling bear wrapped their paw around the wrester's legs and pushed their opponent onto their back. And once again, the wrestler faced a barrage of drool, licks, and swipes at their body before the referee intervened for his sake.

"Okay!" the wrestler panted as he got up on a knee, glaring at Victor. "I'm not gonna play around anymore! This time, I'm ready!"

Rinse, repeat, the wrestler ended up on his back for the third time with the bear on top of him. When the wrestler had enough of the match, the referee grabbed the bear's collar to pull them off their opponent. However, Victor wasn't finished. He wanted to continue wrestling. And so, he set his eyes on the referee to be his opponent. The referee tried to thwart the bear from getting their arms around him. Just as he managed to get the bear to sit down, Victor's paws reached behind their back to grab the back of the referee's neck. He pulled the man forward over his shoulder, flipped them over, and slammed him down on the mat in front of him. The sudden snapmare caused the crowd to go crazy with smiles and laughter.