Konosuba Harem x SolidSnake reader

Tasty Toads

You walked outside while Aqua drank with all the others. You stood alone, watching the wagons pass by.

(Y/N): *puffs cigar*

Aqua: Why don't you wanna celebrate with me?!

She said while walking outside seeing you alone.

(Y/N): Nothing to celebrate.

Aqua: Seriously? You're a hero on Earth. You can celebrate that.

(Y/N): I'm no hero... Never was... Never will be...

You walked away looking for a place to stay for the night. You found a stable to stay in.

(Y/N): I've had to deal with worse on the battlefield.

You fell asleep with a blanket on top of you.

The next morning...

(Y/N): I'm not in war anymore. Why am I still acting like it?

All you knew was war. At a young age, you were heavily trained to be a soldier. You grew up being one of the best, but you didn't have a life. Having a life for once actually made you not know what to do. So you went to the guild for a quest to do.

(Y/N): Ma'am, what are my orders?

Luna: U-um. Just go pick a quest from the board.

(Y/N): Yes Ma'am.

You went over and saw Aqua. She looked like she was trying to decide which one to do.

Aqua: Oh, hi (Y/N)! Would you like to do a quest together?

(Y/N): I choose not to get involved with other people.

Aqua: Please???

(Y/N): Fine, you are a goddess so I'll make an exception.

Aqua: Yay!

...

(Y/N): Konosuba.

...

You were on a quest to kill some giant toads. You didn't know what to expect so you were cautious.

You had the bullets in your gun enchanted to explosive energy. It would blow up like a miniature missile.

Aqua: There's one!

You aimed at it and shot at it. You killed it easily.

(Y/N): easy enough.

Aqua: There's more!

You shot them both but she ran up to one like a dumbass and got eaten.

(Y/N): Damnit!

You shot at the other one ensuring that she would be fine.

(Y/N): What were you thinking?!

Aqua: I only wanted to help.

She was covered in slime and crying.

(Y/N): *sigh* Ok. Let's go get you cleaned up.

...

(Y/N): Konosuba.

...

You took her to the baths and you also took a quick shower.

Aqua: We didn't get much eris.

(Y/N): We could get the rest of the job done tomorrow. For now, we need to recruit more members for an effective squad. Er- Party. *stomach growls* I haven't eaten in days.

Aqua: You can have some of this toad.

(Y/N): But how does it taste.

Aqua: It's good!

You tried it.

(Y/N): Now that's damn good.

The next day...

Aqua: Why is no one coming?

(Y/N): I have no idea. I made a quite strict essay explaining my abilities.

???: I saw your call for adventurers!

(Y/N): Here to join?

Megumin: Hehe... I am Megumin, wielder of the most powerful of all magic! It is destiny that we are here to meet!

(Y/N): Magic?

Aqua: Yes, I think she's a crimson demon.

(Y/N): A demon?

Megumin: Hehe... We are not real demons. We just call ourselves that. Now, would you like to join me and stare into the abyss?!

(Y/N): You seem a bit young to be out adventuring.

Megumin: I'm 14!

(Y/N): 14? Hm, I was sent to war when I was 16. Alright, you're in. You read our names on the forum so you know us.

Megumin: Thank you!

Back to the quest...

(Y/N): Show me this explosion magic. I wanna see how impressive it truly is.

Megumin: Sure thing.

...

Explosion!!!

The explosion blew up many toads. After that, she fell to the ground.

(Y/N): Impressive. So why are you laying down like that?

Megumin: I can only do it once a day. It drains my magic.

(Y/N): Once a day, huh?

She ended up waking up many more.

(Y/N): Damnit! You woke more up!

They started coming your way while you shot at them with a paralysis enchantment bullet that would kill the toads whilst ensuring they don't move.

Aqua: God Blooooooww!!!

She pinched it and it didn't even do anything to it except make it jiggle a bit.

Aqua: Looking at you closer like this, you toads are actually pretty cute.

It bit down on her forcing you to kill that toad, then megumin was eaten and you had to kill all the toads surrounding. All and all you killed a lot more toads than intended.

You were forced to carry Megumin back to town.

(Y/N): You stink...

Megumin: Obviously, I was eaten by a toad.

(Y/N): Let's just wash up and get the reward for our quest.

You were sitting at the table eating after you had cleaned up and the girls were sitting in front of you.

(Y/N): I just wanna kill the devil king and get it over with.

Aqua: Me too. But I do enjoy being around you. You're a respectful man.

Megumin: Yeah, and you even gave me the payment. Most parties just keep me around to carry stuff for them.

(Y/N): Thanks, but I'm just a guy doing his job. *puffs cigar* It's always good to puff a cigar after a meal...

You slept in the stables with aqua...