last full month of summer and this month will mark a year since my life started to completely crash down.
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— August, 2021 —
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in December i said everyone from last summer would be back in my life, but in all honesty i was just sad i lost them. one thing i've been learned this past year is just don't hold onto the past, why? because in the end it'll hurt you. really really hurt you.
i'm not exactly worried for this month, but i also am. last year this month pretty much ended me. i mean i'm still really hurt from last summer august. which say something.
in all honesty this month just reminds me of shopping, major shopping. because that's all i did and one of the few things i wanted to do.
i made new friends and hung out with more new people , meaning people i've never hung out with before. i even went on a trip!
just my family and i out away from the state we usually are. it was great.
we went on a five hour hike, rented bikes, i saw the sunrise twice and overall became closer with my family. i missed my best friend and dog though. august is great honestly.
the only thing that sucks has just been happening for pretty much ever. my thoughts being filled with the person who hurt me. honestly, it turns out one summer can in fact change everything.
this month also made me realize one of my best friends - not my best friend, but a very close friend of mine - has just seemed to dislike me. but we've both changed.
i mean reality is reality, not some amazing fantasy where everyone likes you. it's reality, you won't always get happy endings. and that's okay.
genuinely speaking, i'm proud of myself. i've come so so far especially from last year which entirely changed me as a person. yes I'm still obnoxiously myself, but i know more things about people. i know how the kids my age run now. at least a little better anyways. and i too have changed especially from last year. everyone this summer is much much more mature, it's crazy.
and i'm not entirely friends with the two who blocked me, but i'm mutuals with them kind of. we get along. like when we see each other out in public we say hi. which makes me feel really good. and yes, i still over think, everyone does. but i'm getting better at not overthinking to the point of mental breakdowns. i'll get there soon.
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what once was
Aktuelle Literatura girl who doesn't find love, but finds hurt, disappointment and worry. who thinks she's becoming just who she's always wanted be, at an extent. after knowing him before, she knew it was time to be close yet again, like from what was before. except...
