what once was

July, 2020

as much as this month does seem pretty boring, that's just how July was. i think this month just shaped me for august. i mean my friends had hung out without me a lot during this month, but i didn't reallllly mind.
i mean let's be honest, things happen. i just wasn't fully prepared.

——July, 2020———

i had spent the fourth of July at my grandparents, now settled into my new house. all that was needed was just getting used to the place. it's a nice house, from the front it looks slightly like a mansion-but also not at all. it's a duplex, i like it though.
my summer had pretty much started this month, because when summer did start i was sick, but now i'm better than ever.
i hung out with friends on the 13th, first hangout of the summer, it was my best friend, my other friend, and someone i've known pretty much my entire life. we're a group, we have been for a while now. it was a fun day though.
then the next day, i hung out with another friend i've known for pretty much my whole life, she was apart of our group but she had needed to go, so everyone moved on without her, except me. i never knew if it was because my fear of growing up or the fact that i've known her since forever or even the fact that i felt bad, all i knew was she was fun to be with at times.
two days later i had hung out with her again, this time we went to a pool, that day was fun as well. we had played mermaids, she had wanted be the evil one. which had seemed odd considering she really really wanted to be the evil one, but i didn't mind.
around a week later i went over to my grandparents. we had dinner outside in their backyard and saw the prettiest pink sunset i think i've ever seen. it was gorgeous.
before bed i had mentioned to my grandma wanting to see a sunrise so that's exactly what we did, except to add spice we went to the beach to see it.
we had woken up around four thirty and then headed out. we drove to the beach and saw such a pretty sunrise.  then walked the whole beach!
the next day i was invited to go to the beach again, it wasn't super duper fun but it was really fun. other than me losing my favourite chapstick. don't ever bring a favourite thing somewhere with you when you're climbing rocks.
during this month i had started to take screenshots of people's stories when they had hung out without me. and you may ask yourself why would i do that. and the simple answer was i was worried that my friends stopped liking me and i had also wanted an album of times i was left alone. it was also for things to do with friends. but mainly being left alone.
July ended well, but not as well as august started.