Love & Bullets (bucky barnes x oc)

26: Danger Looms

To many, the mafia is the worst of them all. The deadliest. The most corrupt. Yet very few people actually know the truth: the Mafia is just the beginning. Hundreds of secret organizations plague the globe, spreading their corrupt ideals and violent murders down every city. How odd that nobody ever notices it until it affects them.

〄

You wake up in a sea of black silk sheets. It's quite the contrast from the cold, hard kitchen floor, but it doesn't take long to get used to. You whip your head around, hoping James is with you.

"Relax. You had a scare earlier, no need to panic."

His deep alto voice instantly calms you down and you sink deeper into his chest. His body radiates warmth, his arms pulling you closer than ever. He brushes his hand across your face, toying with your jostled curls. For a moment, you forget about Ivan. His time will come. It doesn't take long before you sink away into another world, cradled in James's secure arms.

〄

James Buchanan Barnes

Why didn't you tell me about him? Didn't we establish a sense of trust between each other? Do you still feel the need to hide your past from me?

I've heard too much about the Red Room from Natasha. The horrors she had to endure were among the worst she'd ever experienced. Just the other night she had another hallucination about it. I don't want this to be your reality, Alexandra.

But you won't talk to me. And that's okay, but I should have known. I should have known something was wrong the moment we got too comfortable. There is always danger in this business, I knew that, but I could not protect you. For that, I am deeply sorry, bellezza.

But I will be here now. I will fight for you. With you. Until the end of time.

〄

"Bellezza, it is time you explain what all of this is about."

James steps towards you, making you gulp down a wad of cottony saliva. Your mouth feels incredibly parched, like you are standing in the middle of the Sahara in search for a sea. James picks up on your timid reaction and cups his palm over yours, covering it with ease.

"It's okay. You can trust me."

"I just don't know where to begin."

He inhales a sharp breath. "Start at the beginning, work your way to the present."

And that's when you open up to him. It feels different, not because you don't trust him, because you do, but because you've never been open about Ivan to anyone. Sworn to secrecy from day one.

And yet, opening up to James is easier than you thought it would be. As you recount each incident (or mass murder), it feels like a brick is being lifted off your shoulders one by one, until you're left with nothing but bare skin and flesh. Freedom.

You were doing so well until you had to recount when Ekaterina was murdered. At your very choice. Looking down at your quivering hands, you see warm metallic blood dripping down your fingers, leaving fresh marks of murder on the floor beneath your feet. A hallucination that feels all too real to break free from.

The outside world goes quiet as the blood seeps down, down, down. Dripping into a flood of red. It's a sea of red, and you're drowning in it. It's not your blood that you are drowning in, it is your best friend's. Ekaterina's. The mental sight makes you gag and nausea bubbles from within your chest.

Your shoulders are shaking violently, voices getting louder and louder in your head. STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

But you can't stop. You have no choice but to continue. Ivan's orders.

It's like you're head is deep underwater. No chance of life... death is all too near. But it's not the blood that frightens you, it's the sensation of normalcy you feel. Death is just another walk in the park for you. It doesn't even affect you anymore. It's almost like...

"Alexandra, put the knife down, okay? We can get through this, just put it down." James's voice comes as a surprise. He sounds worried, but still manages to compose himself. The caution in his voice makes it clear something is wrong.

His words confuse you. What knife? You look down at your dry, clean hands, tiny fingers wrapped around the handle of a kitchen knife.

Oh my god.

Instantly, you drop it with a clang. How could you let this happen? What if someone had gotten hurt? It would have been your fault, like everything else.

And that's when the realization hit. The hallucinations are just the beginning. And the terror won't end until you face the man controlling them. Ivan Dmitriev.