You and I

Chapter 15: I'd live and die for moments that we stole

Chapter 15: I'd live and die for moments that we stole / on begged and borrowed time

Chapter title lyrics from "Ivy" by Taylor Swift. ~Spice~ rating: mild 🌶/🌶🌶🌶

Barcelona, Spain
October 2017

The next day, Tarja and Sharon decided to actually venture outside their hotel room and see the city. They walked the streets, exploring the outdoor markets and wandering through old cathedrals. It was a beautiful day without a cloud in sight, and they enjoyed the warm sun on their faces. Sharon wished she could hold Tarja's hand, but she knew it was too risky. They were wearing sunglasses, but there was still the possibility that fans could recognize them, and she knew they couldn't take any chances.

They talked about everything from upcoming plans with their music to their families to their childhoods. And sometimes they walked in easy silence, just enjoying being in each other's company.

"How is your dad doing?" Tarja asked once they had paid for their sorbet. They thanked the man working the stand, and Tarja tucked her change pouch back into her purse. They were making their way to the beach after having dinner, and the sky was tinged a pale pink.

Sharon took her lemon sorbet from Tarja's outstretched hand, and Tarja started licking her strawberry cone as they walked. The roads leading to the ocean were filled with groups of tourists, families, and vendors perched on the edges of the street shouting their wares. The smells of roasted meat and fresh herbs coming from the markets and restaurants faded to a saltwater breeze as they got closer to the water.

"He's okay," Sharon said. "Nothing much has changed. I just really want to stick close to home as much as possible. I'm glad we're not touring right now—I'm afraid something's going to happen while I'm gone."

Tarja nodded. "I get that."

"I just ..." Sharon sighed, quickly licking the sides of her cone where the ice cream was dripping down. "I don't want this to be how my kids remember him, you know? Luna will have more memories than the boys will because she had more time to grow up with him, but still. I feel like they're never really going to get to know him."

"I understand. That's a hard thing to deal with," Tarja said. "You'll just have to keep him alive with the memories and stories you share with them."

Sharon suddenly realized that with Tarja's mother dying so long ago, her daughter hadn't gotten to know her at all.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't realize ... that's all you've ever been able to do with your daughter."

"Oh, it's fine!" Tarja said, putting a hand on her arm. "I wasn't trying to make it about me. But what I was saying ... it does help."

Sharon nodded, shooting her a grateful smile. She took the last few bites of her ice cream cone and dusted off her hands. They had reached the sand, and they removed their shoes and continued to walk. The sand was warm under her bare feet.

"What's a happy memory you have with him?" Tarja asked.

Sharon smiled, Tarja's question and kind gaze creating a warm glow in her chest. "When I think back on my childhood, everything is so vivid. I can still smell and taste some of the memories I have. We moved around a lot, but I got to see so much of the world, and I didn't care where I was as long as I was with my parents. We made a home wherever we were. But when we moved back to the Netherlands, I had a really hard time in school. I looked different than everyone else—I had different clothes, different hairstyles, and darker skin. I tried to fit in, but it was hard to make friends because it was already midway through the school year. The other kids called me 'Pinda.' It was a slang word for Asian people back then."