You and I

Chapter 24: Stand there like a ghost / Shaking from the rain

Chapter 24: Stand there like a ghost / Shaking from the rain / She'll open up the door
And say, are you insane? / Say it's been a long six months / And you were too afraid to tell her what you want

Prague, Czech Republic
January 21, 2020

Chapter title lyrics from "How You Get the Girl" by Taylor Swift.

Sharon pulled her coat tighter around herself as the line inched forward, but the icy Prague night air still managed to snake its way through her multiple layers of clothing. She craned her neck around the couple waiting in front of her to see how much further the line stretched and found that there wasn't much more to go before it reached the door to Smetana Hall, the ornate, green-trimmed building that loomed in front of her.

The girl in line ahead of her had hoisted herself up on the railing, and her boyfriend was standing between her legs, his hands on her knees as they talked. She giggled at something he said and swatted his arm, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in for a kiss.

Sharon looked away and pulled her ticket out of her coat pocket, getting ready to show it at the door. She tried not to let her eyes focus too long on the name printed on the ticket of the artist she was going to see.

The line continued to move, and before she knew it, she was standing right behind the couple as they were getting their tickets scanned. She glanced behind her. She could still leave. She could tear the ticket up and pretend like this had never happened.

"Next," she heard the attendant at the door say, and she slowly turned her head back to him. He raised his eyebrows at her, an undertone of annoyance in his expression. He didn't recognize her, of course. She was wearing an oversized black hoodie over jeans, large dark glasses, and a baseball cap pulled down over her face. She had to ensure that it would be impossible for anyone to know who she was, especially the woman who would be performing on the stage.

"Um, right," she said, shaking herself and stepping forward.

The scanner beeped as the attendant held it over her ticket. "You're all set," he said. "Enjoy the show."

She glanced over her shoulder one last time before following the flow of the crowd through the doors.

She found her seat in a middle row, off to the side where she knew she would be safely tucked away in the shadows. Once seated, she simply stared out at the stage, her gaze unfocused as the minutes ticked by before the show would begin.

When Sharon looked back on how she had gotten to this place—in the audience of her ex-lover's concert, to be exact, she wasn't sure how much conscious thought had actually gone into her decision. One moment she had been thinking about the other woman and how much she missed her, wondering if she was okay, and the next she had been researching concert dates and flights. And now she was here.

She wondered what Tarja was doing at the moment. Probably warming up her voice, stretching, or finishing her makeup. Sharon wondered if she ever thought about her. She hoped she didn't. She hoped she was happy and hadn't looked back. She hoped the past didn't haunt her.

Sharon just needed to see her. She just needed to make sure she was alright, because that was what the unrest in her heart for the last six months had been about and nothing more. And then she would put the past behind her too.

A murmur swept through the crowd, and she realized the lights were dimming. She glanced up and saw four figures emerge and sit in the chairs that had been arranged on the stage. A dozen or so more followed, and the audience applauded. Squinting, she tried to make out which one could be Tarja, but it was still too dark. She recognized the beginning notes of "Mystique Voyage," and then a silhouette she immediately recognized as Tarja emerged at the front of the stage.