You and I

Chapter 21: We're not in Paradise

Chapter 21: We're not in Paradise
July 13, 2019
Vizovice, Czech Republic

Chapter title lyrics from "Paradise" by Within Temptation.

Tarja sat on the edge of the couch in her dressing room, staring into an untouched styrofoam cup of green tea on the coffee table in front of her. It had gone cold, but she was too deep in her thoughts to have noticed or cared. She had gone through her stretching and warm-up routines mechanically, but nothing had felt right, and she knew she was on edge.

It had been almost a year and a half since she and Sharon had seen each other. The last time had been at Sharon's father's funeral, when they had walked back from the graveyard to Sharon's house together, stopping far away enough that Tarja wouldn't be spotted by any family members. Their time together had been so brief, and marked by the heaviness of grief and pain that had filled that day. Tarja had so desperately wanted to take it all away, to feel it for her. She hadn't slept for weeks after that day, constantly checking her phone and wondering if Sharon was okay.

It had been even longer since they had kissed, since Tarja had run her fingers through the soft waves of Sharon's hair, since she had felt her smooth skin beneath her fingertips. Since she had felt truly happy. Those stolen days in Barcelona had been a dream. She kept going back to that time in her mind and trying to relive the peace and pure joy she had felt then whenever she was sad or lonely or stressed. Which was often.

Writing "You and I" had finally unblocked the dam holding all of her creativity from her, and she had Sharon to thank for it. She had taken the other singer up on her offer of having her look at the songs she was writing, but she had never shown her "You and I." She knew she would hear it eventually, but she wasn't ready for her to see the lyrics any sooner than she needed to.

Tarja was drawn from her thoughts when she heard a familiar voice echoing through the backstage area. Her heart lurched in her chest, and she sat straight up. She could hear the voices of the other members of Within Temptation as well, and then Sharon's laugh, getting closer and closer.

She took a deep breath, steeling herself for the flood of emotions she knew was about to wash over her, and slowly stood and reached for the door handle. When she pulled it open, Ruud caught sight of her first. His face broke into a grin.

"Tarja!" he said, and immediately stepped over to pull her into a hug.

"Hi!"

"It's been forever!" he said as they pulled apart.

"I know! Crazy how time flies."

"We're all so happy you could make it," he said with a smile.

She hugged each of the other guys, and as Martijn stepped back, she saw Sharon standing behind him. She was wearing loose, faded blue jeans and a white v-neck t-shirt, and her hair hung down over her shoulders.

Butterflies immediately invaded Tarja's stomach.

"Hey," the older singer said, a smile curling at her lips, and Tarja could have melted into the floor. How had she possibly gotten more beautiful?

"Hey," Tarja replied. She was finding it hard to breathe.

Sharon took a tentative step forward, and Tarja quickly closed the distance between them. Time stood still as they embraced. Tarja was only aware of Sharon's hair tickling her neck, the softness of her body pressed against hers, and that familiar scent of roses. She felt something inside her ease. Embracing Sharon again was like a balm to all her wounds that had been left raw since the last time they had seen each other.

Too soon, Sharon started to pull away, and Tarja reluctantly let her go.

"H-how have you been?" she managed. The guys had retreated to the other side of the backstage area and were rummaging through the mini fridge for sodas.