You're an idiot // Winterfalcon

17

- - - -

We've tried to keep Bucky and Sam separate, to stop more possible screaming episodes. Their wasn't any thankfully but the two just seemed to be drawn to each other. Wherever Sam went Bucky happened to be there and wherever Bucky went Sam just happened to be there too.

They both refused to acknowledge the other person still believing they were right and the other was wrong. They were both wrong. They loved each other but were blinded by hatred for the others ex. Sam also refused to speak to Steve despite his efforts to explain the situation to him. Bucky also refused to speak to anyone but Steve and Tony. Steve because he was his best friend and Tony because he owed that to him after all the drama.

"I just don't understand." I sighed looking at Wanda. She squeezed my hand.

"Me neither hun."

"They were so perfect for each other and now... they can't stand the sight of the other. I should have never slept with Bucky that night." I groaned.

"Hey, hey look at me." She said softly, "None of this is your fault, neither is it Bucky's and neither is it Sam's! Wrong place wrong time for all three of you."

"Thanks Wands..."

"We should go find Sam," she said after a moment getting up from my bed. I nodded following her out the door, that's when we heard the shouting.

"What do you want from me Tony?"

"I want you to stop blaming Steve for something that has nothing to do with him anymore! This is between you and Bucky and until you both grow up Steve and I want nothing to do with you!"

"Is that what he said or is that what you want?"

"I think you know the answer to that yourself Sam. You shut Steve out, someone who really cares about you then I shut you out. You and Bucky need to sort yourselves out before you rip this team apart."

Sam stood there stunned as Tony turned his back on him storming off. I didn't blame him. Sam looked up at me and Wanda who sighed sadly. Tony wasn't wrong but it was wrong for him to blame it all on Sam.

"Are you alright?" I asked walking down the stairs towards him. He sighed sitting down on the sofa.

"Tony's right isn't he." He said and me and Wanda shared a look.

"I'm sorry Sam."

"How do I talk to Bucky. I'm sure he'd rather speak to anyone else but me."

"Just... let him talk if he wants to. Try and understand him." Sam nodded walking down to the gym. That was where Bucky was most of the time.

- - - -

I walked down to the gym where I knew Bucky would be. He's always in there nowadays, hardly eats, hardly sleeps. Just always working out. I went in looking around for Bucky until I spotted him in the corner sitting down on a bench.

"What do you want Sam?" He said not looking up from the floor.

"I just wanna talk..."

"About what? What is there to talk about?" He said standing up and walking over to me. "What could you possibly have to say to me?"

"What could I possibly have to say to you? Everything Buck! Everything! I could say that I love you, that I miss you and I want to be with you but of course that's not enough is it! You want me to drop everything, forget about my best friend forget about how much I loved him and how much he helped me when I was at the lowest point in my life! But you don't get that do you! You don't understand how that felt for me to loose him! If it weren't for Riley we would never have hooked up that night because after I was raped at age 15 I never wanted to have sex again. So you can thank Riley for our relationship because it never would have happened if it weren't for him!" I said completely forgetting about what Wanda and Nat told me.

"I don't want you to forget about Riley." Bucky said sadly, "I just want you to understand how he makes me feel..."

"How does he make you feel."

"You know when you said you always felt like the second choice..." he said and I frowned.

"Yeah? What's that got to do with it?"

"You don't get it do you Sam? Riley is your first choice! He always has been and where does that leave me? Second? Third? I get it, I get that you miss him and I hate that he died and I hate that that hurts you but what you feel towards Steve is how I feel towards Riley! Do you know how much you talk about him? Ever since your birthday and you told us about him it's been non stop, again I get that you miss him but that's not fair on me... yes you love him and yes I love Steve but I'm not holding onto something that happened 70 years ago! That's why I spend so much time in the gym, I'm not hiding from you, I'm not making out with Steve I'm running from Riley! What do you think it's like while we're having sex and that portrait of him is staring at me from the corner of the room? Do you know how uncomfortable that makes me Sam? Would you like it if I had a picture of every person I dated in the 40's on my wall? You wouldn't because it's unnerving, it makes me feel like I'm not doing enough! It makes me feel like the second choice because it's always been Riley, and it always will be Riley..."

"But that's not it at all-"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you about Steve. If you won't listen to that why should I listen to you saying the same thing about Riley? Sam I never wanted to argue with you, I don't care that your still in love with Riley, I don't care about the picture keep it for all I care but I just wanted you to understand..." I teared up just thinking about how many weeks we lost over something as stupid as ex boyfriends, and it was something that was my fault...

"I-I'm sorry I just- I was so jealous just because I didn't want to loose you and I lost you in the process..." I said sniffling.

"Hey, hey, this isn't your fault okay? We both messed up Sam, no one is to blame."

"But I pushed you away." I said a tear rolling down my cheek slowly.

"Never fully," Bucky said and I threw myself on him wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.

"You are my person Buck, you always were." I sobbed into his shoulder.

"So are you Sammy."