I knew him before he was a monster

Part 2 the sanctuary

summary: we arrive at the sanctuary and I confront Negan

We arrived at the sanctuary, which just looked like a big factory, on the way to Negan's office he informed me of some of the rules in this place, no stealing food or anything or attacking his men or they will be punishment.

When we got to his office, I sat on the seat opposite him, but I wouldn't look him in the eyes because I was very nervous because of the kind of man that he has become and honestly it terrified me I did not want to piss him off, I continued to look at the floor waiting Negan to say something

" so Jessica since we are alone , I would like to say sorry, for killing your friends but you have to understand , your people killed a whole lot of my people so I had to send a message , so they know not to fuck with me , I mean you people did kill 30 of my men and I only killed 2 of your people so I would say that you got off easy Negan says , looking quite sympathetic which actually shocked me because I thought he was just a monster

" I can't even look at you right now , watching you kill them and you looked like you enjoyed it, what the hell has happened to you, you've become a monster, please just take me back to my people because I don't want to be anywhere near you , now that is for sure" Jessica said with full rage walking right up to Negan and getting in his face , I was angry but on the inside I was quite scared with how he with react

Negan chuckle's as he steps back not believing what he's hearing " seriously darling after what I did to your friends , you still test me , and did you really expect me to be the same man, we are in a fucking apocalypse!! , so fuck yea I had to change being nice is the world that we live in won't get us anywhere , when this bloody!!!!! Think started I had to try and get treatment for my wife she had cancer!!!! For crying out loud jess, tears starting streaming down his eyes and Negan's eyes were angry but not angry at me angry at talking about the situation.

"And then I made a stupid fucking mistake I forgot to turn the generator back on and all of her treatment was gone, his voice almost broke and it was honestly tearing me apart ,

So I tried to get more but then these people they kidnapped me wanting to know where the doctors were that I found and I really did not want to tell them but, I had to tell them because I had to get the stuff back to her , but when I came back she was a mother fucking zombie jess,

her arms were tied and.....and" I couldn't take it anymore I grabbed Negan's hand with tears pouring out of my eyes " Negan you don't have to tell me ,I...I ....im so sorry, I put my arms around him tightly giving him a cuddle and he squeezes tightly against me sobbing

" its ok I want to talk about it with you, I used to tell you everything" I grab his hand and we go into his room and I sit next to him on the bed still holding his hand and squeezing it slightly

" there was a bag other her head, seeing her like that absolutely destroyed me, it was like I was gone to because I didn't feel anything the love of life was gone and I didn't know what to do jess, I tried I really did but I couldn't do it, I couldn't kill her , I was weak so I did all I could, I burnt the house down and got my bat ready and I killed all those mother fuckers , I no longer cared about killing them but lets face it they deserved it," his eyes were full of tears , looking at him just broke me so I grab hold of him and cuddled him again, I let go while we took our clothes off, then I got under the covers and put my head on his chest and Negan had his arm around me

" thanks for listening jess it was nice to talk about it with you, I really missed you" I looked up into his eyes " im sorry for calling you a monster I get way you changed I really do, I want you to know that I will always be here for you, I really missed you , but im still pissed about you killing glen

Negan laughs "oh so you're not pissed me killing Abraham just glen " he looked up with a smug amused look on his face

Oh, shut up, asshole he gripped me tightly and I snuggled up against him slowing falling asleep feeling very safe in his arms

I may be pissed about him killing glen but I understood why he had changed because of what happened with his wife, I felt bad for him because of everything that he had been through, I also understood why he killed a few of our people , I was annoyed but he was right we killed 30 of their men whereas he only killed 2 of ours , I am hopeful that I can bring out a bit of the old Negan back because I know he is in there somewhere he has to be